About A Year Ago…

Posted 2015.07.04 12.34 in Family/Friends

This has been another really difficult post to write.

A little over a year ago, my dad went into the hospital for the last time.

From just before the end of June, over the Canada Day holiday and a few days after, I spent several days driving to Orangeville and back to visit him in the hospital.

We talked a lot, mostly about business, but also about family things, personal things.

As big a part as he played in my life, I still never really understood how important he was to me, until after he was gone.

Fathers day was a couple weeks ago, and it was difficult. Things have remained difficult as the anniversary of my dad’s hospitalization came, and that of his passing fast approaches.

This time last year, my dad wasn’t doing great, but he was in good spirits, and I could go and spend time with him, talk with him.

I really miss that.

And since then… the best way I can describe how I feel is like a ship without a rudder or sails.

Mare Maerori

Like last summer there was a huge storm, and I sort of rode it out, but when the wind and waves died down, I was still afloat, but adrift.

I’ve lost my guidance, my drive.

And I haven’t figured out how to get them back yet.

Happy Canada Day

Posted 2015.07.01 7.30 in Uncategorized

CanadaFlag

Fathers Day

Posted 2015.06.21 10.50 in Family/Friends

I was trying to write a post about how Father’s Day was the holiday that suckerpunched me, after not really feeling too much on the other holidays over this past year.

The words aren’t coming. It’s too difficult.

I miss my dad.

db_tg_013

p.s. Fuck cancer.

Hiding

Posted 2015.04.10 13.54 in Cats

Pixie is still with us, but sometimes she pretends she isn’t.

Hiding

Off the Face of the Earth

Posted 2014.12.27 8.26 in Pointless Blather

I haven’t actually dropped off the face of the Earth, though it may seem that way.

Gaia

Dealing with issues and stuff. And work and stuff.

Also, working out logistics for a server move / migration. Possibly in the next week or two.

Definitely still here though.

Quiet Month

Posted 2014.11.26 9.51 in Cats, Family/Friends

Almost the end of November and I haven’t posted anything yet.

Nothing to say I suppose.

Some health issues to deal with, and I still miss my dad.

Oh and one of my cats has been battling some sort of cancerous problem since last year, and it’s now catching up with her quickly.

Kind of in a holding pattern with her, every day wondering when the end will come.

Pixie at Rest

She’s started using the once-dreaded carrier box as a bed… getting acclimatized to it, for when it’s time for the final journey.

Now I haz a sad again.

Blessed Samhain

Posted 2014.10.31 9.29 in Family/Friends, Spiritual

Wishing a blessed Samhain to everyone.

Tonight draws an end to the light half of the year, and begins the dark half; the veil between this world and the next will be at its thinnest. A time to think of our loved ones, and of those who have passed beyond.

Take care & blessed be.

Samhain_Pentacle