This has been another really difficult post to write.
A little over a year ago, my dad went into the hospital for the last time.
From just before the end of June, over the Canada Day holiday and a few days after, I spent several days driving to Orangeville and back to visit him in the hospital.
We talked a lot, mostly about business, but also about family things, personal things.
As big a part as he played in my life, I still never really understood how important he was to me, until after he was gone.
Fathers day was a couple weeks ago, and it was difficult. Things have remained difficult as the anniversary of my dad’s hospitalization came, and that of his passing fast approaches.
This time last year, my dad wasn’t doing great, but he was in good spirits, and I could go and spend time with him, talk with him.
I really miss that.
And since then… the best way I can describe how I feel is like a ship without a rudder or sails.
Like last summer there was a huge storm, and I sort of rode it out, but when the wind and waves died down, I was still afloat, but adrift.
I’ve lost my guidance, my drive.
And I haven’t figured out how to get them back yet.
Almost the end of November and I haven’t posted anything yet.
Nothing to say I suppose.
Some health issues to deal with, and I still miss my dad.
Oh and one of my cats has been battling some sort of cancerous problem since last year, and it’s now catching up with her quickly.
Kind of in a holding pattern with her, every day wondering when the end will come.
She’s started using the once-dreaded carrier box as a bed… getting acclimatized to it, for when it’s time for the final journey.
Now I haz a sad again.