The Risk of a Rant

Posted 2009.04.04 10.10 in Family/Friends, Pointless Blather by Stephanie

So I have some more stuff to talk about, but it occurs to me that if I were to grumble or rant about, say, family, coworkers, customers, etc. that it’s possible that someone may come across this stuff and realize it is referring to them, and then what?

But then I remember that the majority of my family don’t know what a blog is and never visit my website, that someone in Upper Tibequistan with an internet connection can know more about me than my folks… and coupled with the I-forgot-my-cryptospam-again-yesterday it’s not that big a deal I guess.

So family first, work later, if I’m still in a ranting mood.  Grumbles continue below the fold.

Family functions. Xmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, whatever.

It’s always, AAA is bringing this, BBB is bringing that, CCC is bringing the other, and so on. So I ask, What can I bring? “Oh nothing, just bring yourself.”

Every time. Year after year, function after function. They never ask me to bring anything and when I offer, they don’t want me to bring anything. Just bring yourself.

What does that mean? 

I’ll say what I think it means — what it means to me at least.

Either A) they assume that whatever I bring will be strange and wierd and nobody will want it and it’ll just be sad and embarassing… or B) they don’t think I’m capable of bringing anything. Like, “If you manage to drag your sorry ass to the function, then that’s achievement enough. Good for you.”

Now in the case of (A), that could easily be alleviated by being specific, like “If you could bring the apple pie that would be great” or something to that affect. If they don’t want me showing up with something a little too gourmet or a little too fancy, then they could tell me exactly what they’d like me to bring. But they don’t do that.

So maybe it really is (B). Maybe they figure I’m just not competent enough to bring something with me.

I dunno – maybe they think it would be too much of a burden for me? Like they’re afraid I won’t show up at all if they start ‘pressuring me’ into anything further than merely attending. Though really, I am feeling just the opposite. Like, maybe if I felt like I was needed and useful, I’d be more interested. Now, it’s just that the need another warm body to show up. Anyone could do that. I could send a homeless person in my place to get a warm meal, that would satisfy the body-count requirement.

I could bring something anyways, try and force my way into being one of the family. I tried that once before though and got the very distinct impression that I was being humoured. “Oh wow.  Look what you brought. That’s….interesting. Well we’ll try and find somewhere on the table to squeeze that in. Though I don’t know if anyone would want to try it… it seems a little different.” Yeah, deviled eggs are way out there. Pfffft.

5 Comments

  1. It’s definitely A – though, there may be a bit of B thrown in too. And it wasn’t just deviled eggs… it was deviled eggs – WITH CURRY, offered to the white bread family.

    Were you really surprised by the blank stares and uncomfortable silence? Curry? On my table? What will everyone think?

    Force your way into the family!!! Force your usefulness! Don’t expect them to support your choices! Don’t look for them to mirror your interests!! These are the family laws… I only recently learned them.

    “An artist is never truly free, until both of her parents are dead.”

    Bring apple pie – bought from the store… or some other equally inoffensive North American mass-produced edible product.

  2. Stephanie says:

    Oh boo. Nobody needed to know about the curry, but someone went out of their way to “warn” everyone that they might not like the eggs. And the couple brave souls who ignored the dire warnings did enjoy them.
    Thpppt.

  3. Leanne says:

    Don’t bring apple pie – dessert is my gig! lol

  4. Stephanie says:

    Ok no apple pie. Tell you what, next time I’m going to darn well make deviled eggs again, and if I can get my hands on it, I’ll put truffles (or truffle oil) in them, and I won’t tell anyone.
    Or if deviled eggs aren’t appropriate, I’ll make something else, then I’ll jazz it up, and lie about the jazz — at least till people have tried it out. After tasting it, then they can learn the truth.
    Haha! I expanded your horizon! Take that!

  5. Lezley says:

    Hey – I know…. grind up some of your cryptospam and add THAT as a horizon expander!!

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