Planet Stephanie Facts and Figures

Posted 2009.04.19 9.29 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie

Over the years, a number(*) of people have asked what it’s like to live on Planet Stephanie; how big the planet is, where it is, and so forth. Basically, what are the details, the facts and figures, of this world I live on.

Read on, for the full story.

Size:
Variable. (Usually the size of my home, plus my car which is sovereign Planet Stephanie territory, plus I maintain a bubble of Planet Stephanie around my person when I am forced to venture to other locales such as work or the supermarket.)
Population:
One human, two cats. (The millions of spiders are classed somewhere between “tourist” and “alien invader”.)
Gravity:
About 9/10ths that of Earth. (Planet Stephanie is a wonderful place to relax, where the “weight of the world” is not so heavy.)
Industry:
None.
Exports:
Befuddlement, discombobulation, empty wine bottles, used cat litter.
Imports:
Wine, cat food, coffee fixin’s.
Currency:
None. Residents of Planet Stephanie share almost everything, and occasionally employ a system of barter.
Government:
Planet Stephanie is a technocracy, where the one who knows how to use the can-opener gets to rule the world.
Tourism:
Aforementioned spiders seem to enjoy visiting the scenic “dank and creepy basement” while human guests are welcome to enjoy the backyard in summer months and the living room during the rest of the year.

Indeed, Planet Stephanie is a fine place to live and relax, a welcome refuge from the hectic pace of modern-day planet Earth.

(* It should be noted that Zero is a number.)

2 Comments

  1. Lezley says:

    You should include how the dank and creepy basement is the portal to the world of the dead – AND how pissed they were when you built the wine cellar room.

  2. Stephanie says:

    I had thought about including a section on religeon / spiritualism and somesuch but then decided against it, as I didn’t want it to sound all preachy.
    Plus, the spirits / orbs / bumps-in-the-night have either subsided, or I’ve got so used to them that they just aren’t noteworthy any more. As for stuff moving… yesterday I found the rocking chair in the middle of the room, but I can’t honestly say that I might not have left it there myself. I don’t remember when I was last in that room or what I might have done there.
    Cheers!

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