I Like It Hot

Posted 2009.04.25 9.20 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie

Not long ago I was having lunch with my dad. We were at a chinese food place, and when we placed our orders, I asked for hot sauce. We’ve eaten there before and from experience we know that they usually bring a tiny dish with like a teaspoonfull of sauce, so I specifically asked for A Lot of hot sauce.

So they bring the soup, and my dad starts on his soup, and I’m sitting there waiting. He asks, “You don’t want your soup?” And I said “I’m still waiting for my hot sauce.” then the next thing I said suddenly resonated very strongly with me: “I shouldn’t have to eat food that isn’t spicey.”

World's HottestThat’s right. I should not be forced to eat un-spicey food. I will eat a few things without spiciness – coffee for instance, or fruit juice. But when I eat something bland, it should be my choice. I shouldn’t be forced to eat bland stuff.

Eventually they did bring the hot sauce and I was able to enjoy my soup, and the rest of my meal. But that’s not the point. The point is, I like spicey food, I put spices in almost everything. Even breakfast – I’ll put cayene pepper on my eggs or toast.

I go through a 750ml bottle of hot srirachi sauce in a month. When I use your average hot sauce in cooking, I remove the flow-control thingy and measure it with a measuring cup, not a spoon. And yes, I have been known to eat/drink hot sauce by itself. I keep hot sauce at work so I can jazz up my sandwiches. I’m considering getting a ‘hip flask’ so I can carry hot sauce with me so as to never be unprepared again. I eat jalapeno peppers like snacks, and I have eaten habanero peppers on their own (although I prefer to cook with them.) When I can find it in the local stores, I buy Dave’s Insanity Sauce to cook with. My favorite flavour of potato chip is Blair’s Death Rain Habanero.

The stir-frys that I make often contain enough heat to induce a pepper-high (endorphine rush due to the body confusing spicey-heat with actual physical burns, and releasing endorphines to counter the ‘pain’). My stir-frys can even be lethal: I’ll never forget the time I was enjoying a stir-fry in summer, and a fruitfly landed on the edge of my plate, wandered up to the edge of the sauce, touched the sauce, and instantly died.

I don’t care so much if my food is cold, as long as it’s hot!

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