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Just Once…

Posted 2009.06.29 9.08 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie

Just once I would like to wake up and feel refreshed and energetic. Just to see what it’s like. You hear these expressions, like “bright eyed and bushy tailed” or “rise and shine”…  they have no meaning for me. And I have expressions that probably are meaningless to most people, like “I have blear in my eyes.”

I have insomnia and sleep apnea, so it takes me forever to fall asleep then when I do manage to get to sleep, I don’t get much rest. I wake feeling exhausted. By the time I’ve gotten up and washed and dressed and everything, I’m ready for a nap. I’m usually not fully consious till mid-morning. I drive to work with half-open eyes, yawning incessantly, then sit here staring at the computer with my eyes trying to roll back into my head, my brain locked in alpha-wave mode, and wonder why I just can’t get in gear, for the 10,000th day in a row.

If Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is real, I’ve had it for 20+ years. It’s like someone put one of my batteries in backwards and I’m perpetually running with only half power. Now and then there are little bursts of energy, alertness. But they’re few and far between, and typically short-lived.

Tired. It’s not just a feeling, it’s a way of life.

Snail Committee

Posted 2009.06.26 9.14 in Aquaria, Pointless Blather by Stephanie

Through some hours of careful observation, I’ve come to the conclusion that snails are controlled by committee. There’s guys in charge of the foot / locomotion, there’s guys in charge of the mouth, guys in charge of the head, and so on. And each group communicates with each other through complicated forms that have to be filled out in triplicate.

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The Story of Mouse

Posted 2009.06.22 11.18 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie

The day began like every other. Mouse woke, and left the nest to forage for food. There was activity in the grassy field this day, so he stayed close to the great blue wall that rose up from the ground to the sky. Mouse knew to avoid the large noisy twoleg creatures that sometimes came and dug in the fields. They didn’t seem to hunt or eat mice, but they were so big that one couldn’t help but be fearful.

As Mouse moved quietly along the base of the blue wall, he found something new, something he had never seen before. At the spot where the blue wall became a white wall, there was an opening, a portal, a way through. It was just a crack, as though the white wall and blue wall had parted slightly. It was just big enough for Mouse to squeeze through.

Cautiously, he approached the opening. He sniffed the air. Food! There was food inside. Suddenly his mind was filled with stories and legends from his youth. Shangri-la, mouse paradise. A land where it was always warm, never rainy, yet fresh water and wonderful food were always there for the taking. The legends said that once every few generations, one brave or lucky mouse had found the mythical shangri-la, and lived there in paradise for the rest of his days. Those who found it were always too happy to return, they couldn’t bring themselves to leave such a wonderful place.

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First the Ranting, now the Raving

Posted 2009.06.20 19.10 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie

Today is the birthday celebration for my little niece and nephew. They’re twins. They’re going to be 5 years old tomorrow.

I nearly missed the party – not because I forgot, or was late or anything. It was because there’s a parade down Main Street and when that happens, they close off either end of the street I live on. They don’t close my street – it’s a sort of side-street, and they don’t close traffic on it. But they do close traffic on the two larger streets at either end of my street. So I am free to drive up and down my little street all I want (less than 500 meters long), but I am not allowed to leave.

And you see, because my street is never actually closed, there are never any notices provided that there are going to be road closures.  So this morning when I saw a sign saying there would be a parade this afternoon, I realized there could be trouble. The parade is going from 2pm to 4pm. I wanted to be at the party at 4:30pm, so I’d need to leave about 3:30ish.

I checked the city’s website, no information about road closures. I checked the local newspaper’s website, no information about road closures. Why the hell don’t they have a posting, or even a crude hand-drawn map? Just something to say, yeah, we’re going to shut down these roads at this time. They do mention that Main Street will be closed for the parade, well duh. But they always park all the trucks and vehicles on the streets surrounding my little street, and I want to know if they’re doing that again. Appearantly it’s a big secret though. Asshats. I bet noone on city council lives on my street.

So at a little after 1:00pm I went out to get gas, and just in case, I took the kids’ gifts with me. Good thing, too. I just barely escaped, they were setting up the barricades and I just squeeked by.

The first time this happened, by the way, I had gone grocery shopping, and then was on my way home when I got caught at the barricade. I was gone less than 45 minutes, and in that time things went from not even a sign, to fully shut down / no access. I had to plead with a cop to let me through so I could get my groceries home – had to tell him my address to ‘proove’ I lived there.

Grumble grumble mutter swear curses hell and poop. Parades – PTOOEY! Oh what I’d give for a good solid thunder storm…

Time for a Rant

Posted 2009.06.20 13.47 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie

Ninnies with SUVs. Bad enough that people who never leave city limits are driving around town in their big chunky SUVs, but what the hell is it with people buying 4WD offroad vehicles then driving them like they’re made of glass?!

I was driving through a parking lot this morning, and in a hurry so I went around the back of the mall so as to avoid the traffic, pedestrians, and nitwits who stop in the go-lane to stare furtively for a parking space. Around the back are no shops, just a straight-away to the exit, punctuated by 7 or 8 mild speedbumps. Did I mention I was in a hurry? Infront of me is some ninnie in a Honda CRV and at each speedbump they literally brought the car to a full stop, then inched it over the bump.

Holy frackin’ asscrackers!

I could have pushed that car over a speedbump faster than they were driving it. It’s a freaking SUV and they’re treating it like it’s made of spun sugar and farts!

I drive a Toyota Rav4 and the CRV is the Honda version – that is to say, they’re the same size and have the same target market. The RAV4 can take those speedbumps at 25mph without a second thought. Hell I could go over curbs faster than this ninny was handling speedbumps.

Bah! If you want to drive like that, get something fragile and expensive, then lower the shocks so you have 1″ of ground clearance!

As noone was coming the other direction I simply went into the other lane and went around them. And for the record – as I blasted by, I checked and they didn’t have any wedding cakes, fabrege eggs, or cases of beer in the back, so there was No Excuse for driving like that!

Random Stuff

Posted 2009.06.19 14.22 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie

iPhone 3Gs came out today. It has a compass. Also there’s something about improved speed, better camera, whatever. Compass! I got mine at 9am this morning, before going to work. Mmm technology… Now if only they’d add a blinky light. I miss blinky lights.


Cats & Doots: What is the deal here? I buy them little toy mousies with catnip inside, and they stuff them behind the sofa or under the fridge. I get them little balls and they hide them behind the TV. Whatever toys I get for them, they quickly lose. But if someone makes a little round doot that’s not too squishy, they bat it all over the house so I can eventually find it in the living room. Cat doots do not belong in the living room!


Hyperactive Snail: My applesnail Speed Racer went into spazz mode last night, he was just a nonstop snailing machine. Playful – climbing to the top of the aquarium then parasnailing down to the bottom. Industrious – he was digging holes, moving gravel one lump at a time. Raucous – at one point he dropped everything and raced across the tank to punch out the little pond snail (I don’t know what the pond snail said, but it must have been offensive.) All in all it was a fascinating evening of snail-watching.


Robert Filterfeeder with Geometric Trousers: This weekend is my niece’s and nephew’s birthday, and the party theme has to do with a stationary aquatic filterfeeder named Robert, who wears trousers with a simple geometric form. So…yay?


Buy my parents’ house! They want to move to Orangeville so they can be closer to the grandkids. You don’t wanna deprive grandkids of ready access to nana and papa do you? Buy this house!

Happy Snails

Posted 2009.06.15 21.06 in Aquaria, Photography by Stephanie

So yeah, I’m all about snails and fish and aquariums and snails at the moment.

When I first set up my aquarium I had a little decoration thingy in there that looked like some old ruins – pseudo-interesting to me, but meaningless to the fish and snail. In my reading, I learned that snails like somewhere to hide, and I could see Speed Racer was definately looking for a hiding place – he’d tuck into the plants, try and get behind the heater, hang out dangerously close to the filter intake, and so on. None of these spots were ideal though – none of them were in shade and he really wasn’t hidden.

So today I removed the ornamental thing, and put in an old (well cleaned) coffee cup. It’s funny how the best things are the simple things. Speed Racer looked at it, did a lap of the aquarium, watched the cup for a while, then made himself at home. 🙂

Coffe Cup Cave

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