Snail Butt Surfing

Posted 2009.07.10 18.11 in Aquaria, Photography by Stephanie

Please pass these instructions on to your snail.

In order to butt-surf, you need to get into position so that you have a current coming up from behind. The stronger, the better — within reason. Now, what you want to do, is lean forward and put all ¬†your weight on the front of your foot. Lift the back of your foot up, and form it into a funnel or cup shape. Lean forward more, stretch that toe out, get your butt up as high as you can, and think light thoughts!

surfinOnce you feel the current starting to push on the back of your foot, you really want to stretch out, keep your foot cupped, and then just let go with your toe. Use your foot to funnel the current under you as it pushes you, and if all goes well, you’ll suddenly find yourself flying! You can get an inch or two of altitude, and cover 5 or 6 inches of ground (depending on the current) before you come back down.

It is appearantly quite exhilerating, as Speed Racer demonstrates in the picture. He has quite a blast doing his butt-surfing back and forth across the aquarium.


Head vs. Mind vs. Brain

Posted 2009.07.10 10.43 in Life On Drugs by Stephanie

I get this thing. I call it “micro-dizzies”. It’s like flashes of dizziness, but they’re very short, like little staccato bursts of dizziness. Each one is too short to actually be a problem, but they come all in a row and cumulatively leave me feeling kind of wierded out.

After much reflection and observation, the best way I can describe it is that it feels as if my mind is not firmly attached to my brain. That is to say, the physical meatstuff inside my noggin and the etherical “me” are not in proper sync. My mind seems to have a very slight lag to it – like a tenth of a second, or less. So that as my head moves around, causing my brain to move around within it, my mind is not moving at quite the same time. Like when you see trails, only it’s happening to all my senses.

Needless to say, I am still taking the cryptospam and I choose to blame the drug for this.

I should add, this effect is not on all the time – it comes and goes. It isn’t exactly debilitating or anything, just wierd. Heebie-jeebie wierd. It isn’t severe enough to be really annoying, but it isn’t fun enough to be trippy. However, it does remind me of a short story I read back in grade school about a guy who figured out how to astral project, while walking along and turning left while his mind/attention got distracted and went right. His body wandered along till it tripped over something, while his mind wandered around having a good day.

They gave us some freaky shit to read back when I was in grade school. (Thanks Mr. MacArthur! You ruled grades 5 & 6! Big Mac Attack shoutout!)