Road Signs

Posted 2009.08.24 14.49 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie

I don’t know why, but lately I find I’m slightly agravated by road signs that are either too polite, too subtle, or just too wishy-washy. For example, those signs that say something like Please help keep our highways clean! when what they really mean is Don’t Litter, Assholes!

That’s just one example of course. It’s about trying to be too polite and sidestep the real issue somewhat. Like ‘help keep the highways clean’ could mean anything, including getting out there with a broom and dustpan, when really this isn’t the issue at all. The issue is brain-dead jerkoffs who think that when they throw trash out of the window of a moving vehicle, it magically vanishes into the land of smoke and fairies.

Another one that vaguely irks me are the ones that are obviously hand-made, you sometimes see along highways through rural areas, that say something like Please drive slowly, watch for children. or words to that effect. I’m never quite sure if they mean, The speed limit is 60 asshat, don’t be doing 100! or if it’s the opposite, like Our kids are too dumb to stay off the road, slow down so you won’t miss!

This is why I’d like to see these signs become less vague and just be blunt, get to the point. Say what you mean to say and get the point across. Here’s an example of what I mean – it’s straightforward and tells you exactly what the message is, without being rude. And it applies not just to drivers, but hunters and virtually anyone who happens through the neighborhood:

Please Don't

You could even make it into a little self-adhesive label and stick one on your car, or your front door – it’s multi purpose!