Home Made Camera: Night 3

Posted 2009.10.07 23.45 in Hobbies, Photography by Stephanie

More progress tonight. I found something to use as a ruby gel on the film counter window: something I had laying around the house, cheap and plentiful, and related to cameras. Well, not ruby, but orange… Some unexposed leader from colour film! The orange mask on the negative is a good substitute. Finally, I coated the back of the back plate in black felt to provide a bit more lightfastness, as well as a soft plane for the film to roll against.

Although building a camera on the fly without plans is unbelievably cool (I’m a legend in my own mind!) sometimes it leads to wasted materials and mistakes. I ended up shelving the shutter I had built last night and went with an even simpler sliding design – just pull it up to expose, slide it down to shut. To mount it flush against the front of the body I had to lay another veneer of wood, but I ran out of oak. So the front is now yellowheart wood. Actually so is the back. Symmetricalicious.

So finally I used another piece of brass as a strap across the front. I made a small hole in the brass and then placed a bit of tin behind it. And then poked it with the pin. Voilla! Pinhole!

The only things that are left for me to do, are to finish the twisty windy springy things, and hook up the thingy that holds the back in place. Oh and I’ll stuff some felt inside as well so the film doesn’t get scratchy running over the wood bits.

Oh and then I have to sand the whole thing, then finish the exterior with tung oil to make it pretty.

Side Defects

Posted 2009.10.07 16.11 in Life On Drugs, Pointless Blather by Stephanie

It’s been about ten or eleven months since I started taking the cryptospam pills to combat depression. If I remember to take them every day like I’m supposed to, then things are moderately ok. Nominally.

Remembering to take them on schedule is the tricky part. Memories add up and play tricks. I remember taking them, but am I remembering yesterday’s memory or today’s? Or have I just visualized taking them with enough clarity to think I actually did it?

Of course, after a day or two of uncertainty, if I’ve forgotten then it gets very obvious, what with the dizzy spells, lack of focus, discombobulation, heebie jeebies, and general befuddlement.

Wierdly, and this is appearantly not uncommon among anti-depressants, one of the potential side-effects is more depression. And another potential side-effect is suicidal thoughts. Now, when I read that, I thought it was kind of a crazy ass thing to be giving depressed people. Like, if you were taking medicine for your heart, would you want it to list ‘heart attack’ as a possible side-effect? It’s counter-intuitive. Almost like they slip that in there just to mess with those of us who have to read everything infront of us. (That’s probably another whole episode there – about the compulsive reading thing.)

Anyhow, with the funky side-effect thing – it’s not just a joke they put in the fine print, it’s appearantly serious enough for doctors to mention it when they perscribe it at first, like if you get this to contact them at once. I wasn’t too worried about it because I like to think I’m pretty self-aware. Even if I can’t always react or control things, I’m at least congizant of them, you know? Or maybe I just believe I can. Either way, it works out.

It was wierd though – back during the first few weeks on the cryptospam, sure enough I started getting these thoughts and visions of hanging. There’s lots of big sturdy trees in my backyard and I’d think about which were the best ones for fixing ropes to. Some parts of my house are really well-built and I’d think about if there were some good solid joists or whatever they call the structural things, that would be a good place for a rope. It wasn’t so much like actively plotting, more like an idle or passive thought. Like daydreaming, when you just let your mind wander. Mine would wander to ropes and places to attach them.

Although I did realize it was probably due to the drugs, it still kind of freaked me out, because normally my idle-visions / daydreams are about getting shot. I don’t really like the thought of hanging, it was strange and unfamiliar.

So eventually, after a few weeks when the majority of the side-effects were going away and I was getting used to the drugs, the hanging thoughts went away and the getting-shot thoughts returned. So things have been fairly normal in that department ever since.

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