Mad Hair Day

Posted 2009.12.01 9.40 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie

Other people have bad hair days. I do too, frequently. Sometimes though, it’s worse than that. Some days, my hair is just completely mad.

I mean insane – when it’s really troubled, my hair will shout obscenities at strangers. It mumbles to itself on busy street corners.

Some people stare, others just furtively glance then look away, not wanting to participate in the unruly embarassment. Parents whisper to their children, “Look away. It’s unwell. Don’t stare.”

I attribute all this to a handful of separate issues – each one, on its own, wouldn’t be too bad. But together, they are greater than the sum of their parts, and my hair really has the deck stacked against it.

First, my hair is naturally curly. Now before people all go “Oh you’re so lucky!” let me stop you right there. It means nothing. It doesn’t mean my hair is all naturally arranged in a perfect perm. It means my hair is just as uncooperative as anyone elses, plus it changes length and uncooperativeness based on the humidity. And it’s very, very prone to knotting. You got straight hair, you want it curled. You got curly hair, you want it straight. Thppppt.

Second, with the insomnia and sleep apnea, I’m always waking up tired, and often late. It takes me forever to get my brain into gear – frequently I’m not fully awake till after I’m at work. No fooling, it’s become one of my little ‘rituals’ to check that I’m properly dressed, as I’m standing on the front porch locking the door. I’m not a “morning person”.

And finally, the prosopagnosia. Being faceblind, I’ve never grasped this whole thing about makeup and appearance. My mother was never pleased when I pointed out that she looked exactly the same (to me) with or without her makeup and all that. So I just don’t spend all this time standing infront of a mirror preening and all that jazz. I don’t need a mirror to brush my hair – I know where my head is, I can even find it in the dark.

Unfortunately, all this leads to days like today, when my hair is stark raving mad. I can only assume that people suspect the same of me – after all, who’d go out in public, with hair like that?!

Ack! Thpppt!

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