To All My Friends in SecondLife

Posted 2009.12.20 19.00 in Computers/Internet/Technology by Stephanie

I love you all – and I’m sorry that I am not online as often as I ought to be.

RL is all busy and full of craziness and depression and crap like that. I try and log on – like I’ll be thinking hey, it’s 6pm, and I’m not working tonight so I should log onto SL! Then a few minutes later it’s 11pm and I’ve got to go to bed and I’m wondering what the hell happened.

Anyhow – I haven’t forgotten you and I really do miss you and I’m honestly sorry for not being around as much as I should be, as much as I want to be.

The truth is, for maybe a year or more now, SL has just added to my depression rather than offering an escape from it.

I blame the Lindens – seriously when was the last time they did anything that was universally heralded as a Good Thing? It’s just one thing after another, where they stick it to their customers, blame the problem on us, and claim it’s what we all wanted anyways. I mean, if I treated my customers the way they treat theirs, I’d be homeless and destitute.

Sorry – didn’t mean to get into a whine-fest. Suffice to say, Lindens blow hairy moose balls.

Anyhow – the point is I love and miss my SL friends. I’m not hiding from you all. It’s the Lindens and what they’ve done to SL over the last 12, 18 months, that has made me drift away. That and the RL crazies.

As for Waikiti – two regions is where we’re at, and it’s where we’re going to stay. Nothing will convince me to give LL any more money, we won’t grow any more. Nor will we shrink – at this size, I can absorb any shortfalls in the region revenue, without it putting me into personal financial woes. Unless there is some SL-wide catastrophe (or some sl-wide LL-inspired retardation, like killing the economy etc.)

Anyhow – so here we are. Waikiti is what it is. I’ll be around as much as I can, but I can’t promise I’ll be around more than I have been.

Four Supercoffees and No Food

Posted 2009.12.20 15.18 in Computers/Internet/Technology, Life On Drugs, Pointless Blather by Stephanie

Before I was just unfocused, or focusing on the wrong things. But after four Supercoffees and no food, now I am well and truly blurry.

Like some caffein can energize you, give you a little boost, a little extra oomph. But four Supercoffees worth of caffein just leads to a state of tense buzzing.

I did get three more chores done, so my yesterday-list is up to 5 out of 11 tasks completed. I haven’t started on today’s list though.

Oh and I redid the Random Words thingy so it’s really actually random now. It’s still in alphabetical order  – I didn’t want the same words appearing in a random sequence. That’s silly. I wanted random words, appearing alphabetically. And I got what I wanted.

Except that in doing so, I may have taken the concept of a ‘tag cloud’ and, you know, slightly broken it?

Doesn’t matter. Random is as random does. Stephanie is as caffein buzzzzzzzzzz.

 

Unfocused Update

Posted 2009.12.20 12.10 in Life On Drugs, Pointless Blather by Stephanie

So instead of devoting what little energy / functionality I have into something important — like housework, workwork, or that sort of thing — I’ve been using it to muck about with WordPress & my website.

Odds are, you won’t notice anything different. That’s kind of the point actually.

What I’ve been doing was first, upgraded to the latest version, WordPress 2.9 was just released recently. Then I have been rewriting most of the files that drive my custom theme. I also scrapped my mobilized plugin, as I’ve changed my theme to dynamically adjust itself depending on whether the viewer is using a mobile / handheld browser or not.

Not that the mobilized plugin had any problems – just that it required a secondary mobilize theme, and I kept forgetting to update that theme when I did anything with the primary theme. So finally I figured, heck with it, I’ll just adapt the main theme so it can serve both fullsize and mobile user agents.

The only visible change actually is that I got rid of the fancy tag-cloud plugin, and started using the normal built-in one. The only real difference there is the tag-cloud words don’t change colour any more. No real reason for the change, just that I felt like eliminating a plugin. I’m down to only 5 plugins now, and two of those are mine. 🙂

I could probably offload another one of those into my theme functions, but I haven’t decided yet if I want to do that.

Anyhow – still not focused on the right things. And now I’m wasting time writing about working on the wrong stuff instead of working on the right stuff. This is me paying homage to the Gods of Procrastination.

Unfocused

Posted 2009.12.20 10.03 in DID, Life On Drugs, Pointless Blather by Stephanie

Unfocused pretty much describes me right now. Unable to focus. Focus-free. Not blurry, just… unfocused.

I’m supposed to be working. All weekend. Household chores and office work. Like every other weekend, I write up a checklist so I know what I need to do, and check each thing off as I go.

This weekend though… kaput. Nada. Nothing.

Yesterday, instead of accomplishing the eleven tasks I had on my list, I achieved only two. The rest of the day was spent sleeping, or resting, or just staring into space.

Maybe it’s the season? Monday is the winter solstace. Shortest day, longest night, darkest dark. So this weekend we’re pretty close to that. Not much light. Maybe it’s just that I’m tired out and need to catch up on my zzzzzzs.

Or maybe I’m shutting down – when the stress and pressure get to be too much, I sieze up and go off-line. Some stress and pressure is good, up to a point it helps me function, but past that point things begin to fail quickly.

Also, I’ve just got around to increasing the dosage on my meds, that the doctor RXed last month, so that might be contributing.

I don’t know.

Whatever it is, all I do know is that another day goes by, it’s another day closer to the various deadlines, and one less day I have to achieve what needs to be done.

They tell me Friday is a holiday. Long weekends are good – it’s a chance to get more work done, get caught up a bit.

Meh.