Darn Those Meddling Kids!

Posted 2010.01.17 9.41 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie

So I got a new water cooler recently. Excuse me, a new Water Dispenser. Nowadays they do hot, cold, and room temperature, so you can’t call them a water cooler any more. You know the things – metal and plastic, big water jug goes on top, place for a cup or glass, water comes out when you work the buttons or nozzles.

Anyhow, I do like the hot/cold/room temperature options. Hot is fantastic for making coffee, it’s very hot, like just a shade lower than boiling. I prefer to drink room temperature water, and the cold is available for guests. So far, so good.

Except every year they make the child safe protection stuff more insidious, more annoying.

I’m sorry but if parents are going to let little Johnny Dumbass play with the water dispenser, then little Johnny deserves the life lesson about hot water that he’s going to get. And for that matter, it’s also an excellent opportunity to learn about respecting the parents’ authority, assuming they at least told him not to screw with the water cooler.

But no – instead it seems society is bent on raising stupid children who will eventually grow up to become stupid (and litigious) adults. Nobody wants to take responsibility for raising their children, and so every damn thing has to become child-proofed and child-protected.

It just really agravates me that every morning I have to be inconvenienced trying to get my coffee, so that someone else’s dumbass kid doesn’t have to learn that hot water is hot (until they figure out how to defeat the safety thing.) Oh – and it’s not just for hot water – to save money, they made the hot valve also the room-temperature valve so I have to screw around with the safety device just to get a glass of water?

I don’t have kids. I don’t plan to have kids. And what about the office water cooler? No kids at the office. Why does it need a child safety mechanism on the hot water valve? By the time kids are old enough to put them to work, they’re old enough to know that hot water is hot.

Anyhow, so I don’t really have to screw around with the safety mechanism. Two minutes of work with a sharp instrument have taken care of that problem. Of course, the warranty is void, but screw them – they should make it an option. Either give us a way to disable the safety thing (a hidden switch or something) or offer a product without the safety thing, let me make my own decisions about safety. I don’t need or want someone else making those choices for me.

Maybe there should be a store where they just sell stuff that has all the ‘child safety’ devices removed. I bet it would be popular.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t dislike kids. I just think it’s gone too far with the whole nanny-state mentality. If I did have kids, and I said “Hey don’t play with that or you’ll get hurt.” then they go ahead and play with it, they’re gonna get hurt. Then they’re gonna learn that a) some things are dangerous and you shouldn’t play with them, and b) Momma’s right so do what she says.

Seriously – how long before they start putting child safetly locks on all the hot-water taps in our houses? So that little Johnny Dumbass doesn’t get hurt when he’s washing his hands or brushing his teeth? Sheesh!

And anyhow – kids heal. And scars build character — as well as providing some interesting/amusing stories when you grow up.


  1. malmal says:

    You dont hear of a kid sticking his tongue on a steel railing when it’s 20 below freezing….twice. 🙂

  2. Lezley says:


    “Little Johnny Dumbass” is my favourite so far!!

    Hey – who’s malmal? You comment more than I do…

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