Uncategorizable because I don’t really know what sort of heading to use, or where to file them, or how to respond or react or what to do, really. Sometimes things happen and I guess reactions are deferred or just fail to trigger, because it’s either far enough outside the comfort-zone so as to be a bit un-processable, or gets lost somewhere between being startled and denial. Or, maybe I’m just a bad person and don’t know how to deal with stuff.
Anyhow, in the last month or so, my dad was diagnosed with cancer, but from the sound of it, they’ve found it early enough. There’s a lot of questions still. He’s going to have surgery to remove it, but first he might have chemo to shrink it, then radiation later. Or maybe there’ll be radiation first, and chemo after. Or maybe radiation and chemo first, and surgery later. As I said, lots of questions, particularily what’s and when’s.
Today they installed a valve in his arm so that they can plug the chemo in. I think they call it a pic line or a stint or something like that. 18 inches of tube though, they snaked in through a vein in his arm, leaving a little valve thingy on the outside. So he has that, but doesn’t know if they’re actually going to start the chemo this week, next week, come summertime, or whatever.
My dad seems fairly calm, but I’d like to have some of the whens and whats filled in.
The other wierdness is that my aunt has seemingly disappeared. She lives in BC so it’s not like we see her or speak with her too frequently, but from what I understand, she has vanished and been missing for several days now. My dad called the RCMP out in BC to ask them to start looking into the situation, but they have decided that she isn’t really missing.
She’s only vanished without a trace and left no contact information, didn’t pack, didn’t tell her closest friends she was going away, and last time anyone saw her, was 3 days ago when she allegedly left home to go to the dentist. I guess they figure 3 days is not unusual, for a dental appointment. Not that anyone knows what dentist she was going to see, so they can’t check up and find out if she arrived, or is still there…
So I don’t really know what to do or think of any of this. I have no frames of reference for the missing aunt situation. I mean, logically I know there’s nothing I can do being 3000 miles away, but I feel like I should be doing something, rather than just saying “Oh.” when they tell me all of this stuff.
Then the dad cancer thing, I do have some frames of reference, I have friends who’ve had dads with cancer and have known other people with cancer… but those stories all had unhappy endings. Some were short and unhappy, others were long and had both good and bad times before they ultimately had unhappy endings. I don’t want this to be unhappy, I’d like it to be a short happy story full of hugs and kittens, but in the meantime, I just say “Oh.” when I get filled in on whatever details there are.
Ok I’m not that apathetic, I know enough to make a frowny face if the news seems bad or if there’s pain involved, and make generic hopeful positive comments. But that’s about it.
Maybe the cryptospam is numbing me. I don’t know. Or maybe it’s like I’ve always suspected, that I’m just not quite right – a bad human being.