You are currently browsing the June, 2010 archives.

Darkest Post

Posted 2010.06.30 9.00 in Life On Drugs, Pointless Blather by Stephanie

Over the past year or two, I’ve made comments, jokes, and entire posts about dealing with depression. Sometimes I deliberately try and make light of it, or look for a way to ‘find the funny’. Sometimes I make posts about it more for my own benefit, sort of theraputic writing, when I can’t keep stuff bottled up anymore. Mostly, my natural reaction is to keep my feelings hidden, not let anyone around me know just how desperate or lost I’m feeling. I don’t want to burden anyone else with my problems, and I don’t like attention.

As to which category this post will fall into… we’ll see how it develops. I might end up not even publishing it.

So… depression. I wonder sometimes if I’ve suffered from depression most of my life. I know I’ve been tired most of my life, and sometimes being really tired all the time seems like depression. Or, sometimes being depressed seems like being really tired all the time. At least, to me it does.

Then again, sometimes I can’t tell the difference between hunger and fear, so I may not be the best at discerning feelings.

I know my current ‘depressive episode’ started in 2007, and was going pretty strong in 2008. By the end of ’08 I was on anti-depressants, and am still on them now. Though for the past several months I’ve been suspicious that they aren’t quite working any more.

I remember being on drugs in the mid 90’s too, for a year or two. They never seemed to really do the trick then either, it felt more like an elaborate plan to get me to pay for the pharmacist to put his kids through college or something. Actually it sorta feels like that again now… Hmm.

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Bunch o Babies

Posted 2010.06.28 22.59 in Aquaria by Stephanie

I hatched out a new clutch of snail babies on the weekend. Looks like more ivories and goldens. Right now they’re all roaring around a little 1-gallon mini tank I sat on my desk so I could keep an eye on them. They’re cute, zooming around like wee little bumper cars, all in a rush to get somewhere, but they’re all going in different directions. At least, until I put some food in. A bit of algae wafer and it’s all down to business.

Noooooooooo!

Posted 2010.06.27 11.40 in Sports by Stephanie

England are down 4-2 with less than 13 minutes to go… Oh excuse me, 4-1. The goal-that-wasn’t, curse you FIFA and your stubborn obstinance of refusing to allow technology into your lives! Luddites!

Come on England! Go go go!

Dang it. Now who am I going to root for? No Aussies, no Kiwis, no Brits…

Of the remaining countries, I like German wines the best so I might have to start cheering for Germany…

Snail Milk!

Posted 2010.06.24 10.06 in Aquaria, Photography, Pointless Blather by Stephanie

It’s not FDA approved. For anything. Ever.

WTF Was That?!

Posted 2010.06.23 14.12 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie

Sitting here at about 13:44, minding my own business, when suddenly I get this wave of sorta-dizziness. My desk started shaking back and forth, and I felt like I was shaking back and forth.

It was sort of  a single strong sensation, then a pause, then a series of smaller shaking sensations, that quickly died out. I’d say it was 10 seconds at most, from start to finish.

At first I thought I was losing it, but then I saw that Misha had felt it too, she was looking around all alarmed, but as it died out she quickly settled down and went back to sleep.

Turns out, it was a small earthquake. Reports are it was felt across central Canada, from Ottawa to Toronto, even into Ohio.

So yeah, I survived the big 2010 Ontario Earthquake.

Seems Like There’s an App for Everything…

Posted 2010.06.22 21.06 in Computers/Internet/Technology, iPhone, Photography by Stephanie

Munday…

Posted 2010.06.21 7.32 in Family/Friends, Pointless Blather by Stephanie

Not a fan of Monday – and the morning is especially unloved. Once I take over the world, I think I’ll extend the weekends to include Monday, so everyone gets a 3-day weekend.

Yesterday was Fathers’ Day. I went to the hospital to spend some time with my dad. He got through last week’s surgery ok, but he’s been in a lot of pain. It’s difficult to see him like that – I imagine it’s always hard for someone to see one of their parents all weakened and suffering. Looking ahead, hopefully he’ll be well enough to go home this week.

Also ahead, there’s like a week and a half till the end of the month and I’ve got a small mountain of work to get through by then. Between that and visits to the hospital et cetera, I’m already feeling all tapped out and exhausted.

In other mundane news, the world cup is into it’s 2nd week and England is acting like they’re homesick and want to get out of South Africa as quickly as possible. They just have to endure one more match on Wednesday then they can pack up and leave. Booooo. I don’t know who else to cheer for; I guess I’ll decide that on a match-by-match basis.

Right now I’m rooting for North Korea as they face Portugal… No particular reason other than I tend to root for the underdogs, and I like watching big upsets.