Random Rotating Medicine Labels

Posted 2010.08.15 10.55 in Life On Drugs

With the cryptospam and this new wellbutrin stuff, I’ve been on mind-altering drugs for almost two years now. That’s a lot of visits to the pharmacy to get prescriptions filled or refilled.

One thing I’ve noticed is that they almost always stick one or two of those little warning labels on the bottle, but they rarely use the same labels.

Some months I should take with food. Other months I’m to avoid operating heavy machinery. Some months I’m advised not to take the drugs with alcohol. This month the warning says that the drugs may cause dizziness.

So this leaves me contemplating what this all really means.

  • Maybe the medicine has every possible side-affect and every possible warning applies, but they can only fit one or two labels on the bottle, so they’re sort of giving them to me in series and one day I’ll have them all.
  • Maybe the medicine is a placebo and they can’t remember what they told me to avoid last month, so they just stick a warning on there and hope for the best.
  • Maybe the manufacturer can’t make the medicine the same way from month to month so every month it’s a different formula and hence has different properties, and different warnings apply.
  • Maybe the medicine is totally safe but the pharmacist wants to use up his supply of warning labels so he can order new ones.
  • Or maybe it’s completely random and they just slap any old warning label on every bottle that they give to their mentally unstable clients just to mess with us and keep us guessing.

Only thing I know for certain is, if there’s no “don’t take with alcohol” label, then it means that the pillz are perfectly safe to take with booze. Even if they weren’t last month.

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