Feel like quitting

Posted 2011.01.29 16.22 in Pointless Blather

The past two months I’ve been obsessing on this electronics stuff. Thermostat. Kits. Soldering. Embedded devices.

It’s been “theraputic” – the point was to keep me busy, to keep my mind off of the depression and keep the dark thoughts away. Lately it’s been working less and less.

And the thing that’s coming up now is, I’m not sure if it’s even been fun. There’s the challenge, it’s satisfying to figure something out or make something work. But down to the nitty gritty of it – I don’t know if it’s been fun. If it’s been worth it.

I started doing a bit of cleaning and tidying today, and ended up gathering up all the electronic bits and pieces and stuff, and just putting it all in a big box. I still have lots of half-formed thoughts on things that I could make, but I don’t have the urge to actually make any of them.

The thermostat is finished, fully working. All I have to do is hook it up. It’s in the big box with the rest of the stuff. I even built a wireless outdoor temperature sensor last night, to radio the outside temp in so it could be displayed on the thermostat. That’s in the big box too.

I look at it all, and there’s no emotions. Was it fun? There sure were a heck of a lot of frustrations. Things not working, things that broke. And I don’t even want to think about how much money I spent on components, kits, parts, et cetera.

Was it supposed to be fun? At times it felt like homework – stuff I was doing because I had to. It was the assignment. Do that, or sit quietly in the dark and let my head fill up with images of death.

I guess I won’t put the big box away just yet — I’ll leave it out, and see if the urge strikes to open it and do more electronics stuff. Maybe install the thermostat. Or not.¬†Whatever.

3 Comments

  1. macegr says:

    You know what? It’s OK if you want to quit. People change. You don’t have to keep doing electronics if it’s not fun anymore. Maybe you kept doing it because that was what you knew. However, your projects look like stuff people would do for fun. Maybe you just need to step away for a bit, talk to people inside and outside the hobby electronics community.

  2. Omar says:

    Como dice el dicho:

    “Es de sabios cambiar de opini√≥n”…

    He pasado por lo mismo que tu con mis proyectos, avanzo a pasos cortos y en ocasiones siento que hasta retrocedo pero nunca me rindo, pero cada quien es diferente.

  3. justin says:

    I get the same way, and its usually during the winter….but I never have given up what my electronics, at least for more then a couple months, and I always go back with a renewed vigor to get stuff done.

    So I leave you with my half finished project that should be done by the 17th with abstract, documentation and finished code….. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XH90Uf42h_M&feature=player_profilepage

    lol so close but so far away, with no motivation

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