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Epiphany

Posted 2011.03.18 11.35 in Spiritual, Uncategorized by Stephanie

Last night, the world changed. It became something new and different. Things I thought I knew, perceptions I had, expectations and assumptions I had made, have all been changed.

I learned something that was so simple and obvious, I already knew it. I’d just forgotten I knew, or failed to see the truth in it. However, this is not an ending; it is the beginning of a new process. A new paradigm, a mind shift.

Now I am starting to recognize my hidden crutches, my shields and defences, for what they really are. Mechanisms that I’ve turned to for a false sense of protection, which actually have been crippling me, holding me back, holding me down.

I want to laugh and I want to cry. I am trying not to look at those past mistakes and missteps with guilt or remorse or anger. I was doing the best I could, with the knowledge and tools I had at the time.

Don’t be angry or ashamed of the mistakes of the past; be proud and supportive that they were the best choices possible at that time, for the person you were when you made them.

The world today is a similar but different place; familiar yet new. It’s not easy but it is simple. The challenge is to keep my mind and self here, and not let myself fall back into the comfortable trap of the old existance.

End of the World is Nigh?

Posted 2011.03.12 9.18 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie

Normally I’m pretty skeptical about this end-of-the-world stuff – 2012 and Nostradamus and all that stuff. Typically I take all that with a grain of salt, there’s always simpler and more-rational ways to look at it.

While reading all the information about the recent disaster in Japan however, I came across one thing that made me stop and think. They’re saying that the earthquake has shifted the Earth’s axis by a few inches.

Wow. I didn’t know that was possible.

I mean, I know the Earth’s axis moves on its own, there’s a sort of progressional wobble thing that it does. But the idea that it could move a few inches from a big earthquake – that just sort of struck a chord in my mind.

A little while before reading about that, I had seen more information about the earthquake, about other recent earthquakes, volcanic activity, and the ongoing honeybee crisis.

Honeybees, plate tectonics, and the Earth’s axis: a disparate collection to be sure. Maybe it’s a coincidence. A collection of unrelated things. Or maybe it’s just all leading up to the winter solstace of 2012…

Either way, we’re all going along for the ride.

Prayers for Japan

Posted 2011.03.11 8.34 in Family/Friends by Stephanie

Japan was hit with a powerful quake – 8.8 or 8.9 – and my heart goes out to all affected.

Freaky Stuff in Hawaii

Posted 2011.03.10 20.33 in Uncategorized by Stephanie

It looks like Pele is up and about and doing her thing.

The photos look very impressive. I just hope nobody lives downhill from where this stuff is happening.

I Knew It!

Posted 2011.03.09 9.06 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie

I knew it! I knew it all along!

Blognative dissonance

Posted 2011.03.04 12.00 in Computers/Internet/Technology by Stephanie

I don’t like my blog any more. The theme, I mean. It’s too… something.

I’ve been looking at the themes available on wordpress.org but haven’t found anything that appeals. I don’t want to go back to my previous ‘pink’ blog. I wanted to stay with a dark theme because it matches my mood, but none of the dark ones look good to me.

I’d create something new, but I no longer have the energy or motivation to do much of anything, let alone create a brand new theme.

I’ve even toyed with falling back on the wordpress default theme, though it’s too bright for me.

Anyhow, something’s going to change, at some point. Just not sure what, or when.

Anti-social psyco-apathy

Posted 2011.03.04 9.57 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie

Ever have one of those days where people just really tick you off? Ever had a whole week full of those days? How about a month?

Like you pay your taxes, the gov’t cashes the cheque, then sends you a notice saying that they never got your payment so they’re charging you interest, and a fine, and you have 2 weeks to respond. So you call them up to try and sort it out, only to be told that your name isn’t on the ‘authorized contact list’ (it’s bizness taxes) and it’ll take a month to push the paperwork through before you’re allowed to talk to them. So you’re name & signature are good enough for sending them money, but when you need some help sorting out a problem, you’re SOL.

Then you have almost the same exact scenario with some company, only instead of not being allowed to talk to them, they have so many separate depts to handle each little thing and they don’t talk to each other. And their planet doesn’t have a concept for ‘we made a mistake’ so if anything did go wrong, it has to be your fault.

Or you order something on the internet and being impatient you select & pay for rush shipping. Only to find out after the fact that a) they didn’t price it right and rush would have cost them too much, so b) they shipped by pack-mule (ground), and c) they did it without telling you before-hand, and d) they didn’t tell you afterwards either, until you queried what was taking so long, and e) only after you called them out on this did they offer a refund for the express shipping, which f) they didn’t actually follow through on, and g) not only does the pack-mule take forever to cross 3000 miles but h) they put the wrong address on the waybill, so i) it takes even longer because after the pack-mule gets lost a few times they finally call and get the correct address, then j) they have to get the pack-mule from where the wrong address was to where the correct address is, which is a long way because k) their mistake on the address wasn’t a small one, it was entirely the wrong city, and l) there’s not a damn thing you can do but hope the thing shows up, eventually, someday.

Nameless faceless people you’ll never see or meet, who screw up on the job, but they never see any ramifications or punishment for their errors. You suffer for their errors, while they are oblivious.

I’m still depressed but I’m not feeling suicidal. I don’t know what the word is for how I’m feeling now. Best way to put it is, the end of the world can’t come soon enough for me. 2012, bring it on. I’ll have a drink in hand, put my feet up, and watch the show.

I dunno, maybe I just need a vacation from reality.