Worst. Words. Ever.

Posted 2012.01.13 19.26 in Family/Friends

I’ve been trying to write this post for a couple days now. Every time I try, I end up putting a few words down, then my mind fills with dark clouds and nothing else comes out. Then I get a lump in my throat and something in my eyes and just give up. So to heck with it, this time I’ll just bash out what comes and let it go at that.

These are the worst words ever. Words you never want to hear from anyone you care about. Words that cut deep and go on hurting when you think about them. I’m talking about works like:

  • Recurred.
  • Metastisized.
  • Inoperable.
  • Terminal.

They hurt, they suck, and I keep thinking that there must have been an error somewhere. Somebody forgot to carry the four or something, because this just isn’t possible.

Except of course it’s possible. These things happen all the time, they can happen to anyone… it’s just never been someone so close before.

Try and be optomistic and sure, there’s still hope, still a possibility. Sort of. Maybe some new drug will come along, some new discovery might be made. Maybe. And hey, what if the doctor’s wrong?

Like they said at xkcd, fuck cancer. But whatever, I have to go: there’s something in my eyes.

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