Fifteen Ampere Epic

Posted 2012.02.19 20.21 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie


For I have been to the cellar, and I have emerged victorious.

With mine own eyes, I have seen the cobwebs of creepiness. With mine own legs, I descended the rickety stairs of wobble. With mine own back, I did duck beneath the ductwork of furnace.

All these horrors and hazzards, I did brave. For a darkness had befallen the land of kitchen. No more did the micro wave. Neither did the oven bake. Bread lay untoasted, and coffee loitered unbrewed. Truly, there was dissent in the land.

What fiend had brought such misery? What evil had befallen the gentle land of kitchen? These questions could only be answered, these wrongs could only be righted, by journey into the cellar.

There did I find a feeble fuse, upon which was inscribed the runes of fifteen amperes. Yet this fuse was weak and frail. No fifteen ampere fuse was he! His heart had failed, burned and splattered, for he was not the fuse he claimed to be.

His lifeless hollow shell cast aside, his song will be sung no more. In his place stands now a new fuse, strong of heart and resolved of purpose. A fuse who would truly meet the challenge of the fifteen amperes. A fuse who’s strength and bravery would ring down the ages! A fuse who’s song would be sung for many years hence! Yea, a fuse among fuses.

And once again, there is light in the land of kitchen. Microwaves doth beep, countertop convection ovens doth whirr. Bread is once more toasted and the coffee shall flow freely in the land. Verily, there is much rejoicing.

Thus endeth the epic of the fifteen amperes.