“Oh the heck with it. Here’s what’s going on.
Some time ago, my ‘internal monolog’ split into [a few] distinct personalities, each with their own name & identity.”
“I don’t remember exactly when this started, but it was a couple years ago, and didn’t seem to be a problem. So I wasn’t worried.”
“Then about 18 months ago, my name stopped feeling like my name. I knew it was my legal name but didn’t feel like me anymore.
I thought about changing it, but couldn’t think of anything better so I left it alone.”
“Also over the past 18 to 24 months, my personality & behavior has drastically changed.”
“Then last week it all blew up in my head.
Two of those identities are struggling for dominance. One of them is winning. And it’s not the incumbant.”
“So I’m feeling like part of me is disappearing, and something new is taking its place.
And part of me is eager, excited, & happy about it, while another part is frightened & anxious & desperate.”
“We have agreed to seek some professional help.
However we don’t want to be fixed or cured or whatever, just want some guidance.”
“Anyways, it is interesting and at least half of me finds the situation kind of amusing if not laughably funny at times.”
“Yesterday the incumbant thought it was a quiet relaxing day. Meanwhile the ursurper was registering a domain name, and setting up her own email.”
“Then the ursurper changed all our user ids / logons on all our personal & work computers.
Stephanie was a bit distraught when she realized that.”
I wasn’t sure about including this thread. It was the day after (older) Violet knew for sure who she was and that Stephanie was a voice in her head.
It’s kinda personal, but then she did post all this to Twitter so it’s basically public anyways. And it does lead into our ‘Epilogue’ post, basically.
Realizing there’s a point we should clarify. She thought her ‘internal monolog’ split a few years previously. In truth she never had just one ‘voice’ in her head, it was just that the others (mostly) pretended to be her. Or when they didn’t she pushed it away. Denial & dissociation & amnesia FTW lol.
As we continue to progress & learn more about ourselves and stuff, it’s kinda interesting to spot stuff from like waaay back in the past and realize what didn’t make sense or was wierd then, was actually symptoms of what was really going on.