« Previous PageNext Page »

Still Not Dead…

Posted 2016.04.16 13.08 in Life On Drugs

… but definitely still broken in one way or another.

The ‘brief intermission‘ has lasted a lot longer than I thought it would. Sorry.

One of my thousand ‘minor issues’ has been gradually working its way up into being a ‘major’ problem. I’m literally watching the clock counting down the hours till my next appointment at the community nurse clinic, to see if they can do something about the bleeding.

101600b

Next week it’s into the hospital for some diagnostic imaging, and then with some luck there’ll be surgery in the next month or two, then maybe, maybe, I can start feeling slightly better again.

Totally unrelated to all that, I broke one of my toes back on the vernal equinox. The right fifth proximal phalanges if my estimation and spelling are correct. Aka the first bone in my right pinky toe.

It was super sucky the first day, then kind of interesting for the rest of the week, but tomorrow will mark the end of 4 weeks and I’m quite frankly bored with it now. It’s still tender and a bit swollen and sore.

Ospied

Probably doesn’t help that Misha tripped me earlier in the week and I slightly re-hurt it. (Possibly the first bit of bad luck I’ve had from a black cat crossing my path!)

Update: The bleeding got stopped but things are still crappy. I’m seeing the nurses every 48 hours, 7 days a week, for the forseeable future. On the one hand that feels like it’s not often enough, and on the other hand it feels like it’s already taking up too much of what little useful energy I have.

A Brief Intermission

Posted 2016.02.16 9.53 in Pointless Blather

Taking a little break from this year’s house plants & synth pics show to lower the mood and rant / whinge for a moment.

You know the expression Death By A Thousand Papercuts? Sometimes I feel like that.

Sometimes it seems like I have a thousand relatively minor health problems and individually they’re all quite common or insignificant, the sorts of thing everyone deals with one way or another.

But when there’s so many of them, there’s always at least 2 or 3 that are going at once, and by the time they’re dealt with, 2 or 3 more have already flared up to take their places.

So it’s constant. It’s not always the same thing, but it’s a constant struggle, a constant drain.

And I think sometimes it’d be easier just dealing with one biggie, like cancer or something. Because when you’re having a shit day and tell people that your cancer is flaring up, they understand that and cut you some slack. (*)

But when you’re having a shit day and it’s because [really minor medical inconvenience # 612] is flaring up, people think you’re a lazy-ass crybaby wimp who whines too much. Because they don’t get that it’s just one of a thousand other minor problems and they all add up, or that the last time you felt truly good and healthy was some time before the turn of the century.

Anyhow, I’m not saying I’d rather have cancer or something like that. Just that every little damn thing adds up and really sucks the life out of you, but those little things are all individually no big deal.

Like Spoon Theory – if you don’t know it, look into it. I first read about it in The Bloggess’ book Furiously Happy.

I sort of see it as it’s easy to explain why your cup is almost empty when there’s a huge gaping hole in it (eg. cancer) but when it’s constantly empty because of a thousand microscopic cracks, it’s harder to understand or explain.

Anyways, I just wanted to get this out. I’m in pain for what feels like the 7524th day in a row, and it’s not huge pain, but it’s enough to remind me that I don’t really want to endure another few thousand more days like this.

* Note: I’m not sure chronicly healthy people even really grasp it in those ‘big’ situations.

My dad was very healthy right up untill he died of cancer, and even then the only part of him that was sick was his lungs, where the cancer was. A couple days before he died, he told me he remembered one time years ago when I couldn’t keep up with him walking, because my asthma was acting up.

He admitted, at the time, he thought I was just lazy and out of shape. It wasn’t till he was laying there dying of lung cancer that he actually understood how debilitating it was, to have trouble breathing.

I’m not saying every healthy person is as oblivious as he was, just suggesting that unless you’ve actually experienced poor health yourself, you maybe don’t fully get how utterly taxing it can be.

More Synth Electronics Pron

Posted 2016.02.12 14.58 in Hobbies

Today’s pics are from a Korg Volca Sample.

The Volca series has a reputation of being hacker / modder friendly, but the first three in the series were basically analog, the Sample is all digital. It has 4MB memory to hold 100 samples.

The obvious mod is Midi Out, which is labeled on the bottom of the main pcb.

I wonder about a memory expansion. The 4MB is an 8-pin SMD chip, 25Q032, and there are drop-in replacements like an 8MB 25Q064. Whether or not the Sample’s firmware would recognize more memory is unknown. The memory uses SPI and could be read out by a SPI probe.

There’s also a couple test points whose function is not provided, they might be interesting. And a connector CN4 which appears to be connected directly to the ARM processor. Maybe for JTAG, or for ICSP?

Top of main circuit board:

Volca Sample Main Board

Read more »

Synth Electronics Pron

Posted 2016.02.06 11.28 in Hobbies

Korg Monotron Duo.

Monotron Duo Top

Monotron Duo Bottom

Just leaving these here for future reference.

More Plant Pics

Posted 2016.02.04 17.03 in Hobbies

The garden continues to grow mostly. Dill is now the out-of-control plant.

These pics were taken after I pruned / harvested about 30% of the dill plant.

IMG_0521

Before pruning the dill, I was like, “what do you even do with fresh dill? I don’t know what I’m doing with dill. Do I even like dill?”

After pruning it, “OMG fresh cut dill smells amazing! I don’t want to smell anything else all day! Let’s hang this stuff to dry in the kitchen, maybe the kitchen will smell like fresh dill! DILL!

Read more »

Three Weeks!

Posted 2016.01.26 10.31 in Hobbies

It’s been just three weeks since I planted these!

Now I have to learn how to prune things because they’re going to start pushing each other around. Especially the cilantro and the big guy in the back row.

Three Weeks Old

Both of them are like “All this light, belongs to ME!”

They Live!

Posted 2016.01.18 9.59 in Hobbies

The cilantro is super busy, it’s going like crazy now. The herb in the back is big and strong.

IMG_0489

And the two late-bloomers, chives and hot peppers, are still hidden under their domes but they have finally germinated and are just starting to sprout.

They’re alive! Everything’s alive!