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Canada Post sucks.
Vancouver Canucks failed.
Work was hectic and occasionally stressful.
The weather was ok.
That is all.
Well Canada Day came and went, as did the I’m-not-working-today-Friday, and then the weekend. Four-day weekends are nice. Very nice. Too nice. I could get used to that. No, I am used to that.
A huge thank-you to my friends and family who came to visit on Canada Day, and who helped out with so much stuff and in so many ways. I get to feeling like everyone else does all the work, all I do is provide a venue and a few snacks and things while everyone else makes it happen. Makes me feel guilty. Next year, either I wanna be healthy and energetic enough to actually throw the party, or I don’t want to do it at all.
Speaking of health… I ran out of cryptospam on Canada Day and took till yesterday to get my new perscription filled. I still haven’t taken it though, so going on four days since suddenly not having the anti-depressants in me.
At first it felt ok, there was a little boost of energy and my mood wasn’t too bad. Then the dizziness started, and the mood-swings, and now I’m just feeling listless and cruddy. Though I’m also at work, which may play a small part in that.
Sigh. I guess I’d better start taking it again, just in case.
Still no progress on the ‘Darkest Post’ stuff, just procrastination and denial.
Over the past year or two, I’ve made comments, jokes, and entire posts about dealing with depression. Sometimes I deliberately try and make light of it, or look for a way to ‘find the funny’. Sometimes I make posts about it more for my own benefit, sort of theraputic writing, when I can’t keep stuff bottled up anymore. Mostly, my natural reaction is to keep my feelings hidden, not let anyone around me know just how desperate or lost I’m feeling. I don’t want to burden anyone else with my problems, and I don’t like attention.
As to which category this post will fall into… we’ll see how it develops. I might end up not even publishing it.
So… depression. I wonder sometimes if I’ve suffered from depression most of my life. I know I’ve been tired most of my life, and sometimes being really tired all the time seems like depression. Or, sometimes being depressed seems like being really tired all the time. At least, to me it does.
Then again, sometimes I can’t tell the difference between hunger and fear, so I may not be the best at discerning feelings.
I know my current ‘depressive episode’ started in 2007, and was going pretty strong in 2008. By the end of ’08 I was on anti-depressants, and am still on them now. Though for the past several months I’ve been suspicious that they aren’t quite working any more.
I remember being on drugs in the mid 90’s too, for a year or two. They never seemed to really do the trick then either, it felt more like an elaborate plan to get me to pay for the pharmacist to put his kids through college or something. Actually it sorta feels like that again now… Hmm.
Well, another Canada Day has came and went. We had a nice little get-together, some close friends, some family, some drinks, lots of food.
Things wrapped up early this year, nobody stayed over, everyone was gone by about 9:00. As always, tomorrow will be a day for sleeping in, and then lots of cleaning and tidying.
People were very generous with their compliments about the food, but I don’t think the ribs were very good. They were tough and chewy, I found. The sauce was good, I love the sauce, but it doesn’t really count if the ribs aren’t good. Maybe next year I’ll make something else… I like steak but I am bad at getting them done to-order. Ribs are ok as they’re all just ‘done’… maybe something fancy next year, or just different.
I also made some vegetable skewers and I thought they turned out ok, except I burned a few of them, shame on me. I liked them better than the ribs – not tough, not chewy, and very flavourful. They were fairly simple although there was some prep work behind them.
The cake was outstanding, it was provided by Get Frosted!. Leanne, I won’t ask for fondant cakes any more – I liked it, but nobody else wanted to eat the fondant. Everybody just loved the cake though – both the look of it, and the taste — outstanding!
Ok, so here’s some simple recipes – giving away my ‘big secrets’ 🙂
Stephanie’s Rib Sauce
- One bottle of Master Choice brand, Chipotle flavour bbq sauce
- 1/2 Litre real pure maple syrop
- 2 or 3 drops of Daves Total Insanity Sauce
- 1 gram of Saffron, crushed
- Mix the bbq sauce and maple syrop in a large bowl, mix well, then drop in the insanity sauce; mix well, finaly add the saffron, mix well. Brush onto meat while on the grill, and allow the sauce to start to caramelize. The components are all there and work together: the bbq sauce is the base, the maple syrop adds a sweetness that caramelizes and adds that caramelized flavour, the insanity sauce gives it a spike of heat, and the saffron (believe it or not) is there too, a subtle flavour that nobody can place, nobody ever guesses what it is. Makes enough sauce for 3 or 4 racks of ribs.
Stephanie’s BBQ Vegetable Skewers
- 1 large eggplant
- 2 red bell peppers
- 1 sweet Videlia onion
- juice of one lemon
- 2 cloves garlic
- 1 bunch fresh basil leaves
- 1 cup virgin olive oil
- Finely chop the basil, crush and finely chop the garlic, and place both in the olive oil. Mix well, seal, and stand overnight (or a day or two). Chop the eggplant into 3/8″ thick by 1 to 2 inch long pieces. Lightly coat with lemon juice. Place on a single layer of a pan and broil at 400 degress for 10 to 12 minutes, then refrigerate to stop cooking. Chop onion and bell peppers into 1 inch chunks. Arrange onion, peppers, and eggplant onto skewers. I use bamboo skewers which are soaked for 1 hour in water before use. Before placing on the bbq, brush vegetable skewers with oil mixture. BBQ on low heat for 3 or 4 minutes per side. When done, onion should be soft, peppers starting to char a bit, and eggplant slightly crispy on the outside. Makes about 12 to 16 eight-inch skewers.
So, there you go. Two of my recipes – the Rib Sauce one I’ve used 3 or 4 years, but the skewers one I came up with yesterday.
It’s a cake! A BBQ cake!