This is what Too Damn Cold looks like.

If this was my car, I’d go back indoors and hibernate a while more. Dial-A-Bottle and internet delivery groceries would be my salvation.

This year, more than others I can remember, I’m really feeling displeased about autumn.

And for the record, it’s Autumn, not “fall”. Fall is what you do after you trip. Leaves fall in Autumn. Fall is not a season. I don’t care if I’m wrong. It’s Autumn. So there.

Anyways. Every morning it seems to be darker out. And the wet, grey, miserable dampness… every morning it is harder to function. Harder to find the motivation to get up and out. And every day it gets a little colder. Last night I had to add another blanket to my bed, I was freezing!

As much as I love Canada, I just don’t think I’m cut out for the weather here. And as bad as autumn gets, it’s just the prelude to winter! That’s another reason I dislike autumn.

For that matter, I think the real problem is working for a living – I’m getting mighty tired of that too. I mean, if I didn’t have to be at work every day, then I wouldn’t have to get up in the cold/wet/grey/dark and wouldn’t have to worry about finding the motivation or energy to carry on. I could just hibernate through the winter, or at least, stay indoors, crank up the heat, and survive through take-out and delivery services. Sure I could venture out now and then, on the warmer days. But I’d wait till the sun was up and it was well and truly daylight. And I wouldn’t be out for long – just a quick dash for supplies, wine, toys or whatever, then hurry back to my warm cozy house.

Actually, if I’m going to daydream, why not daydream big? If I could do anything, have anything, live anywhere I wanted, I would move to a tropical island type place, like Waikiti – I would have a small 1-room appartment above or behind a clubhouse type bar. I would spend my days messing around on the water with boats, or buzzing around in bizzare flying machines, and my evenings would be wasted away relaxing in a big comfy easy chair, with some nice chilled German wines.

I probably wouldn’t live long, but I’d live well.

The initial symptoms of the H1N1 Avian Swine SARS Flu (note: may also be just the common cold) are as follows:

• Rapidly worsening pain at the back of the throat.
• Aching joints.
• Headache.
• Nausea.
• More dizziness than usual.
• Weakness / rapid loss of energy.
• Fever.

After 24 hours, the virus has found and invaded the lungs and sinuses. At this point, the patient may report a decrease or cessation of discomfort in the throat, while these new symptoms also present:

• Congestion in the sinuses.
• Fluid in the lungs.
• Difficult / laborious breathing.
• Coughing.

Treatment: The majority of the symptoms may be addressed through ingestion of coffee (double double is best) and the administration of large amounts of Baileys Irish Cream liquor. The cream coats and soothes the throat while the whiskey relaxes the muscles and reduces sensitivity to pain.

Also, some kind of medicine might help too.