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Still Here. Dammit.

Posted 2013.01.11 12.18 in Life On Drugs, Pointless Blather by Stephanie

So anyways, the world didn’t end on December 21st. Or on the 31st. Or even on the 25th.

The whole apocalypse thing was a complete bust.

Everything just kept on keeping on, same as always.

It’s the one scenario I was completely unprepared for, too.

Now to top it off, I’ve got some kind of coldvirusbugflu thing that’s kicking the crap out of me. I’m feeling dead sick, dead tired, and the world continues to exist with all its demands and responsibilities.

Being sick and still having to face all the pressures that didn’t go away when the world didn’t end, is starting to slide me back into that dark pit of depression again. Not sure I ever got fully out of it, but for a little while there I wasn’t feeling it so heavily.

Hence the lack of updates here. Not counting this one.

Like I Care

Posted 2012.09.27 13.32 in Life On Drugs, Pointless Blather by Stephanie

Sometimes I wonder if life would be easier if I could just not care. I’m not saying that’s a better way to be, that it’s good to not care. I just wonder if people who go through life not giving a shit sleep easier simply because they don’t care.

Coming Soon to a T-Shirt Near Me

Grateful for the Rain

Posted 2012.09.08 11.45 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie

Overnight last night we finally had rain here. It’s been a long time coming – they kept forcasting rain and it kept not raining. Storms too, they’d say we’re in for a storm, and then nothing happened.

I’ve been under so much stress lately, I haven’t been sleeping. Haven’t been functioning well. Have barely been keeping it together.

Last night was the first night in ages where I was able to fall asleep easily, without excessive amounts of alcohol first.

Last night, although I did wake up frequently (as I always do) I was actually able to get back to sleep quickly and easily, without needing to stare at the ceiling or play solitaire for an hour or two each time.

This morning, I actually slept in.

It’s the rain, I think.

Every time I woke up last night and heard the rain pouring down, beating against the windows and the roof, rushing through the leaves in the trees, rattling off the shed and splashing into the pools forming in my backyard… I just felt like it was washing troubles away.

The air smelled clean and fresh.

I felt like it was washing away all the worries and stresses and problems off my shoulders. For the first time in weeks I felt happy.

I hope it keeps raining. I want it to rain all week. All month even.

I wouldn’t complain if we got a few storms too.

I’m grateful for the rain.

Still Alive

Posted 2012.03.06 8.56 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie

Well I lived through February, I survived the weekend, and I managed to endure Monday.

Now if I can just make it through the rest of this week…

Monday Sux Too

Posted 2012.03.05 9.23 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie

So Monday morning has arrived, but life still sucks.

I hope it’s not going to be another one of those months. I just barely survived February.

Disappointing Weekend

Posted 2012.03.04 22.32 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie

You know it hasn’t been a great weekend when you’re wishing Monday morning would just hurry up and get here already!

Tastes Like Plastic

Posted 2011.10.10 19.15 in Life On Drugs, Pointless Blather by Stephanie

Frozen “General Tsao” chicken, and microwave rice.

After suffering alone all day long in pain from my leg, it’s the best I could manage for dinner.

If I was designing the packaging, the phrase “You Can Really Taste The Plastic!” would feature prominently. Perhaps inside an exciting gold star, or in bright friendly red letters.

Thank the Gods for Sriracha sauce, otherwise this would have been a really crappy thanksgiving dinner.