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Tweeted 2014.09.10 14.31 in DID, Twitter by Stephanie
Tweeted 2012.08.31 14.05 in DID, Twitter by Stephanie

Unfocused

Posted 2009.12.20 10.03 in DID, Life On Drugs, Pointless Blather by Stephanie

Unfocused pretty much describes me right now. Unable to focus. Focus-free. Not blurry, just… unfocused.

I’m supposed to be working. All weekend. Household chores and office work. Like every other weekend, I write up a checklist so I know what I need to do, and check each thing off as I go.

This weekend though… kaput. Nada. Nothing.

Yesterday, instead of accomplishing the eleven tasks I had on my list, I achieved only two. The rest of the day was spent sleeping, or resting, or just staring into space.

Maybe it’s the season? Monday is the winter solstace. Shortest day, longest night, darkest dark. So this weekend we’re pretty close to that. Not much light. Maybe it’s just that I’m tired out and need to catch up on my zzzzzzs.

Or maybe I’m shutting down – when the stress and pressure get to be too much, I sieze up and go off-line. Some stress and pressure is good, up to a point it helps me function, but past that point things begin to fail quickly.

Also, I’ve just got around to increasing the dosage on my meds, that the doctor RXed last month, so that might be contributing.

I don’t know.

Whatever it is, all I do know is that another day goes by, it’s another day closer to the various deadlines, and one less day I have to achieve what needs to be done.

They tell me Friday is a holiday. Long weekends are good – it’s a chance to get more work done, get caught up a bit.

Meh.