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Scattered

Posted 2010.12.20 21.01 in Hobbies, Life On Drugs, Pointless Blather by Stephanie

No posts for about a week here – I’m feeling rather scattered. Hard to believe it’s about 2 months since I got off the cryptospam. The side-effects / withdrawal symptoms have all but left finally, but that still leaves me with just the depression.

I’ve been trying to deal with that by forcing myself to be active, getting back into some of my old hobbies, like electronics. It’s difficult though, trying to get the interest or enthusiasm up. I think it’s a bit like when a kid is forced to do some activity by the parents, you know? Piano lessons or soccer or whatever… the kid doesn’t really want to, but grudgingly goes along with it because they have no choice. I think it’s like that, only I’m playing both roles.

This has led to me being a bit frantic and scattered. What I mean is, I know I’m supposed to be doing something but don’t necessarily want to do whatever I may have started yesterday, so today I try something else. Then there’s shipping delays and stuff so I’ll order some electronics kit, and before it arrives, I’ve gotten interested in six more things — and potentially ordered or bought them too, in the meantime.

Ontop of all this, it’s the stupid-season (season’s greetings) and that brings all sorts of additional baggage and issues. What a time to kick the anti-depressants, right? Always a joy at the x-mas parties, too: “Hi, haven’t seen you in ages. How have you been?” “Well, I feel like crap and I’m thinking about hanging myself from that tree over there. How about you?”

So I’ve got a lot of half-built half-finished half-thought-out projects on the go, and if I’m not working or trying to sleep, I’m trying to coax myself to “have fun” with a project. Today I’ve been working on my DIY-Thermostat.

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