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No Progress

Posted 2013.04.15 10.20 in Life On Drugs, Pointless Blather

It’s two weeks now since I started the 5-HTP and Melatonin. It doesn’t feel like they’re helping.

I mean, the Melatonin does help me fall asleep quicker, I’m pretty sure of that, but it doesn’t keep me asleep. I still wake up several times in the night, and depending on the night, sometimes I can’t relax enough to get back to sleep again.

Like last night / this morning, woke up around 4am with a mild panic attack, so I had to read for an hour to get my mind off it.

Now I’m just feeling empty.

Work is going downhill fast, I know I have to do something else, find something else, but I don’t know what and don’t know how. I’ve been lucky up till now – stuff has just happened, opportunities have just turned up when I needed them.

When I do get an idea, it is quickly shot down by all the doubts, uncertainties, and dissenting inner dialog.

Logically, intellectually, I know what I should do, know what I should try, but my heart’s not there. I feel hollow. My inner demons, my little sabateurs, are winning, or have won. I just want it all to go away, to end.

So I remain stuck, motionless, paralyzed with fear and self-doubt, then whine about it on my little blog here, and complain to my friends about how much I suck at life.

And another day slips by, it’s now the middle of April and not a single step forward has been made. It’s part of the cycle, the lack of progress feels like failure, which reinforces the sense of worthlessness and self-doubt. Today will be another day of fail, because yesterday was fail, and all the yesterdays before that were fail.

Yeah, That.

Posted 2013.04.08 8.45 in Pointless Blather

Kill Yourself

Ok I know it’s not entirely true. A few people care. A couple things matter.

Nonetheless, Foamy does make a compelling argument.

Doom

Posted 2012.07.09 11.12 in Pointless Blather

Doomsday Countdown Widget

Posted 2010.06.02 10.39 in Computers/Internet/Technology, Pointless Blather

Now you can keep track of how many days are left till the end of the world, with this amazing and remarkable countdown widget!

Screenshot

That’s right, just drop this in the plugins folder of your wordpress-powered blog, activate the plugin, and drop the widget into your sidebar and hey presto! You and your visitors can keep track of how many days left till the end of the world!

No more guesswork, rough estimations, or tiring calculator usage is required to figure out how long between now, and December 21, 2012. Just a quick glance at your sidebar and you know how much time there is left.

This super-fun-happy widget is available now at the low low cost of free! It’s fully guaranteed to work (though this is not a guarantee) and if you are unsatisifed for any reason, you can just go ahead and deactivate the plugin and delete.

Click here to download now!

No support, no guarantees, no promises, no acceptance of liabilities, no warrantee and no responsibility. If the world fails to end on schedule, should it end ahead of schedule, or should it not end at all, no refunds will be given. This plugin is offered free of charge, for entertainment and amusement only. Should it cause your blog to crash, your server to melt, your house to burn down, and/or your planet to be destroyed, please bear in mind that you have been warned. By reading this fine-print and/or downloading this plugin, you waive all rights and accept all responsibilities, and also agree that the programmer may visit you at your home and demand beer and/or wine at any time, which you agree to provide, along with appropriate snacks.

CheezBurgers are Up!

Posted 2009.05.26 8.51 in Cats, Computers/Internet/Technology

Doom: Now in Fun Size