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Posted 2013.07.10 10.57 in Pointless Blather, Spiritual by Stephanie

So I know I’ve been rather quiet and un-bloggy lately and I now realize that from the other side of the screen, there’s no way to tell really if I’m hiding because things are really bad, or just busy because things are good.

It’s been a while since I made the No Progress post, and the biggest difference is that there’s actually been some progress.

Things aren’t all perfect, it’s not all hugs and kitties, but the oppressive soulcrushing depression has been beaten back and I’ve gotten myself busy with some projects which may or may not prove fruitful.

Interestingly, what changed was not as a result of drugs or pills. I stopped taking the HTP-5. The Melatonin worked for a while (but only when I really overdid it, eg. 20mg would knock me out, but the ‘normal’ dose of 3mg would not.) I ended up stopping with the Melatonin as well; after a few weeks I found I could fall asleep without it.

What seemed to catalyse the change was that I listened to the advice of several friends and tried getting back into some of the “spiritual stuff” that I had been ignoring for some time.


So with a little prayer, a little magic, and a little help from the Goddess and God, the darkness has been swept back under the rug and I’m currently doing ok.

I say ‘swept under the rug’ because the darkness isn’t gone. It’s just hidden away for now. Hopefully, I’ll be better-able to deal with it next time it starts creeping out into view.


Posted 2006.07.05 0.00 in Spiritual by Stephanie

First you have to believe, before you can really believe.

It has been said that those who are skeptical, who have not yet learned to open their mind or open their awareness to all that is possible, are by their very nature, less likely to witness or experience that which is magical or miraculous.

In this same way, those who are of an open mind, who are willing to accept the miraculous or mysterious, are by nature more likely to witness or experience such.

The skeptic may try to answer this with explanations, that the open-minded are fantasy-prone, or that wishful-thinking and desire clouds their perceptions. So be it. They have their own myths and beliefs to help them understand the mysterious, and it is not our place to mock their faith; much as we do not like them to scoff at ours.

On this subject, however, the belief which I share, is that the Spirits, the mysterious, magical and miraculous, simply attend those whom they find to be more receptive, more open, more accepting.

One who wishes to see the magical, or be attended by spirits, must first open their mind, and heart, to such wonders. One who expects or demands ‘proof’, without belief, will receive neither.

Hence; one must first believe, before one will really believe.

Some are born believing or raised to believe. For others, belief must be learned, developed, as preconceptions and close-mind thoughts are left behind one by one.

The mysterious, the magical, the Spirits, are all there. They are all around us. All one has to do, is invite them in.