You are currently browsing the furnace tag archives.

Avoiding the Dank

Posted 2011.05.14 11.31 in Pointless Blather, Uncategorized by Stephanie

It’s wrong, I know. So very wrong.

See, I’m getting these letters from the natural gas company, that basically amount to:

Y u no want me service your furnace? It’s freeeee….

And really, I don’t have anything against regular maintenance. Especially when it’s free (or already paid for via some other contract.) The furnace is an especially Valued and Important part of my thermostat project. So its continued and effecient function is something that should be of paramount importance.

Why then am I procrastinating about getting it serviced?┬áBecause that would mean accompanying the service tech down….into the cellar….

And what is wrong with the cellar, you ask? Well allow me to compile a brief list, quickly, off the top of my head:

  1. Cobwebs.
  2. Spiders.
  3. Creaky wobbly unsafe stairs.
  4. The Dank.
  5. Spiders.
  6. Bugs.
  7. Cobwebs.

And yes, that’s just a quick list. There are plenty more reasons to avoid the cellar. I won’t even go into the mysterious bumps in the night, the strangely appearing and disappearing mists, sudden chills, the lights that turned on and off by themselves, or the voices.

Or the fact that the last time I was down there with a service tech, all his flashlights burned out, one after another, till we were left almost completely in the dark.

If I could just point the guy to the cellar door and say Go through there, down the stairs, through the second doorway and the furnace is down there. It’s in the room with the furnace in it. then I would surely do that.

But the service techs are not fools. They know better than to venture alone into areas where the homeowner fears to tred.

And so I am stuck in a quandry. I want the furnace to be serviced. I do not want to go down there. I have to go down there to get the furnace serviced.

What I need is to find the Indiana Jones of the HVAC service world. He’d go down there alone, give the furnace a tune-up, and give The Dank a swift kick in the arse.