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Real Survival

Posted 2009.10.27 20.52 in Music/Movies/TV, Pointless Blather

(A new TV show that I’d like to see.)

Not long ago, someone told me about a “reality tv” show called “Survivor”, where a bunch of “contestants” have to do made-up challenges and eventually someone wins some money. From how it was explained to me, it’s not really about survival so much as watching average people act like goofs on television, while saving the studio loads of money they’d otherwise have to spend on scripts and writing and quality.

This gave me an idea for a new television show, one where people were in actual life-and-death survival situations. This is the survival show I’d like to see:

You take two teams, 12 people per team. They are average people, just a random selection from whomever applied to be on the show. The directors can pick the ones that will give the most ‘drama’ or be the ‘best tv’ or whatever. As long as none of them are trained survivalist professionals. Once the two-dozen contestants are selected, they get divided into teams by luck of the draw (or by the director setting up who they think will make for good tv.) Then we assign three ‘experts’ to each team. Each team will get two cameramen who are experienced in wilderness survival and wilderness photography. Then each team will be assigned a ‘captain’.

The first team gets Les Stroud, from the Survivorman series. The second team gets Bear Grylls from the Man vs Wild series.

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CSI:Toronto

Posted 2006.11.27 1.00 in Music/Movies/TV

Sometimes I think it is high time for the CSI franchise to spin out of the US and into far away foreign territory. Go off to some strange foreign land with oddball customs, but not too odd and not too foreign, so that it doesn’t come across as being too wierd to folks accustomed to the three versions already running in syndication 6 times per day.

Following the tradition of having each spinoff spawn the next, there’d be some bizzare mysterious murder in New York, maybe in the theatre district, and the top clue would be the fact that a note found on the body would have words like theatre, colour, and centre spelled correctly.

So Mac Taylor and Stella or whomever Mac is currently having UST with would have to follow the clues North (technically a lot more west than north but lets not get too confusing) to Canada’s largest metropolis, Toronto! And because the CSI franchise strives to be more or less accurate about a lot of things, Mac and ???? will actually know better than to bring their parkas and snowshoes for their April or May visit to the “Great White North”.

Once in T.O., they will hook up with the head of Toronto’s forensics unit (a Canadian sort of Grissom) and compare notes and a bunch more local characters will be introduced and blah blah blah the case will be solved, Mac and ???? will head back to New York but will have formed a lasting friendship with their foreign collegues that will never be mentioned again in CSI:New York.

Then, the following September, the world will be blessed with a fourth CSI franchise and those of us in Canada can watch and smile and feel special as we see Canadian CSI types bringing justice and smug smirks to Canadian criminals. And those of us who live in or near Toronto can smirk smugly every time we spot a familiar location being used as the scene of an elaborate and mysterious murder scene. And our American neighbors can watch and smug smirkly every time the head of the forensics unit on CSI:Toronto says Eh?

And best of all, the world can rejoice in the knowledge that, by the time CSI:Toronto is in season 2, there’ll be at least 10 hours of CSI repeats per day available on a multitude of channels.

Yeah, sometimes I think I’d like to see CSI:Toronto.

Then other times, I think I could just use more sleep.

CSI:Toronto