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Jerkette! Of the Day!

Posted 2010.11.17 17.59 in Pointless Blather

My daily commute to and from work is quite short. 10 minutes, typically. Yet the number of clueless idiots I see behind the wheels of cars is truly frightening.

This stellar example of automotive excellence must have had some super-critical stuff going on in that cellphone of hers. Way too busy to turn on the turn signal, and I don’t think she even noticed that she’d stopped her car on the pedestrian walkway.

I used to think that the people you see on that ‘Worst Driver’ show were just pretending. Now, I know the Awful Truth – the streets are full of people who, seriously, have no business being in control of 2,000 pounds of steel, glass and plastic. These people should be given mopeds, and left to fend for themselves. Clue in, or get squished.

Politeness versus the Assholes

Posted 2010.09.09 14.42 in Life On Drugs, Pointless Blather

Common courtesy, decency, and just simply being polite only really, really work when everyone plays by the same rules. You can have 10 people in any situation and even if 9 of them are decent, polite, courteous folk, it still only takes one asshole to piss off the rest and make it a bad day.

The asshole will get their way, get what they want, cut in line or do whatever it is that suits them best — and they will get away with it — simply because everyone else is too polite to make a fuss.

Well I’m sick of it. I’m tired of assholes taking advantage of me or walking all over me just because I’m too polite or too nice.

It sounds stupid but I wanna be an asshole too. I wanna be able to cut in line, barge infront of people, or generally act as if I’m the most important person around, and I wanna goddamnwell get away with it because everyone else is too polite to get involved or make a scene.

I’m not rich enough, attractive enough, or egotistical enough to successfully pull off the “I’m better than the rest of you losers” attitude. But I am unstable enough to pull off the “Mentally disturbed / slightly crazy / doesn’t know any better” deal.

Sigh.

Ok I don’t think I can really pre-emptively asshole my way through life. I just don’t have it in me. But I am pretty sure I can do it on a reactive basis. Next time someone tries to asshole their way ahead of me, I can pull the nucking-futters thing. At the very least, just to see what happens.

So if you see some jerk being an asshole then some middle-aged woman starts yelling and holding her head and twitching, let me know what you think. Or join in, it’ll be fun.

Wisdom Worth Repeating

Posted 2010.07.16 13.03 in Pointless Blather

Unobtanium?

Posted 2010.05.09 22.56 in Music/Movies/TV

So I finally saw Avatar the other day. It was a lot longer to watch, than it was to read the synopsis. It was a lot like the Pocahontas movie, only with blue aliens and heliopter gunships. I didn’t see the Pocahontas movie, but I read the synopsis of that too.

So the first big thing that stuck with me, was this unobtanium stuff. The word unobtanium has been around for a long time, and it more or less means something that is next to impossible to get.  I first encountered the term in the late 90’s, relating to Apple’s Newton eMate product. The memory upgrade was said to be made of unobtanium, because it was virtually impossible to get your hands on.

So in the movie… unobtanium sounds like it would be acceptable as a working-term for early on in the script developtment. But it shouldn’t have made it into the finished film. Considering this grey rock was supposed to be so important and so valuable that it was worthwhile to travel so far and spend so much money to mine it, I’d have really liked to know what it was good for.

I think the corporate guy said it was worth $20,000 / kg which at first seems like a lot. When you consider though that it takes about 6 years to travel between Earth and Pandora, and how much it must cost to move every kg of supplies back and forth, how much personelle and material had been moved to Pandora, and how long they had appearantly been there, $20,000 / kg seems fairly reasonable.

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Asshole-Class Drivers’ License

Posted 2009.11.09 15.13 in Pointless Blather

Through careful observation, I have come to the conclusion that there is a special classification of drivers’ license that one can apply for. It is the ‘Asshole’ class.

People who hold an ‘Asshole’ class drivers license don’t have to stop at stopsigns, they don’t need to use turn signals, they can speed or suddenly, randomly, brake with impunity. They can park wherever they like, including handicapped spaces and fire-routes, and they are permitted to drive on the paved shoulder and queue-jump where possible, because they are clearly more important than anyone else.

Should someone (say, for example, a police officer) actually question them on their driving habits they can cheerfully reply “It’s ok — I’m an Asshole!” and the officer will let them continue on their way.

I don’t beleive there are any special requirements or qualifications necessary either – if you want your Asshole class license, simply report to your nearest Ministry of Transportation office, stride up to the counter and announce in a loud, confident voice, “Hey you! I’m an Asshole and I’d like my special permit now!

The Ministry of Transportation staff will react accordingly.

I’d just like to see Asshole class permit holders be required to have a big “A” painted on the back of their cars (in brown paint, no?), so that we have some warning and can try and avoid them.