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Fifteen Ampere Epic

Posted 2012.02.19 20.21 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie


For I have been to the cellar, and I have emerged victorious.

With mine own eyes, I have seen the cobwebs of creepiness. With mine own legs, I descended the rickety stairs of wobble. With mine own back, I did duck beneath the ductwork of furnace.

All these horrors and hazzards, I did brave. For a darkness had befallen the land of kitchen. No more did the micro wave. Neither did the oven bake. Bread lay untoasted, and coffee loitered unbrewed. Truly, there was dissent in the land.

What fiend had brought such misery? What evil had befallen the gentle land of kitchen? These questions could only be answered, these wrongs could only be righted, by journey into the cellar.

There did I find a feeble fuse, upon which was inscribed the runes of fifteen amperes. Yet this fuse was weak and frail. No fifteen ampere fuse was he! His heart had failed, burned and splattered, for he was not the fuse he claimed to be.

His lifeless hollow shell cast aside, his song will be sung no more. In his place stands now a new fuse, strong of heart and resolved of purpose. A fuse who would truly meet the challenge of the fifteen amperes. A fuse who’s strength and bravery would ring down the ages! A fuse who’s song would be sung for many years hence! Yea, a fuse among fuses.

And once again, there is light in the land of kitchen. Microwaves doth beep, countertop convection ovens doth whirr. Bread is once more toasted and the coffee shall flow freely in the land. Verily, there is much rejoicing.

Thus endeth the epic of the fifteen amperes.

What’s Worse

Posted 2010.08.01 10.28 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie

What’s worse than having a giant spider living in your kitchen by the window above the sink?

When the giant spider living in your kitchen by the window above the sink suddenly goes missing.

Cos now not only do I know there’s a giant spider, but I no longer know where he’s at.

I named him Skeletor. Before he went missing. On account of his huge bony knee joints.

Giant spiders have a lot of knee joints.

I’m not a fan of spiders.

The Case of the Kitchen Cupboards

Posted 2009.11.08 0.37 in Spiritual by Stephanie

On many occasions, I’ve found my kitchen cupboards opened. Not all of them, not all the time, but frequently I find a couple of the cupboards have been opened.

I always blame Misha for this, since I have caught her a few times coming out of the kitchen cupboards. I know, it might be annoying, but it is also kind of cute and funny to see a cat emerge from a cupboard like that.

Anyhow, so this evening I was in the kitchen to make a coffee, and one of the cupboards started to open. It was one that I was standing right infront of, so it couldn’t open much before bumping into me. Without really thinking, I just nudged it shut with my knee but met with resistance – the cupboard pushed back and opened more.

I thought, oh it must be Misha coming out, so I looked down. No Misha. I looked around. No cat at all. The cats were both in the living room.

So something opened the cupboard while I was infront of it, bumped it into me, then when I tried to close it, there was resistance and it pushed my leg back out of the way so it could open.

I don’t know what it was – there was nothing, noone there.