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That’s Crazy Talk

Posted 2012.04.25 8.31 in Pointless Blather

It’s been spider-weather lately. That whole spring showers thing – the 8-legged beasties are thawing out and waking up, then the rain drives them indoors.

I don’t approve of spiders. The creepiness of a creature is directly proportional to the number of legs it has. Extra eyes and wearing its skeleton on the wrong side are just additional strikes.

So lately I have like a dozen spiders roaming my livingroom ceiling. Quite brazenly too, they aren’t waiting till dark to scurry about. They’re strutting around like they own the place.

I’m not Ok with this, but I’m not running around trying to squash them either.¬†For one thing, the ceiling is 9ft high so they’re hard to reach.

I’ve been worried that they’ll move into my bedroom. That’s where I draw the line. I can’t sleep while there’s spiders prancing around on the ceiling above me. I was just thinking this morning, how glad I am that they haven’t come into the bedroom yet.

Then that other part of my mind speaks up. The crazy part.

What if they are already in the bedroom and you just can’t see them yet?
Invisible spiders is a stupid idea.
Not invisible, but like, they don’t show up in normal light. Maybe they’re only noticable under a different kind of light?
You mean like a blacklight? Like how some scorpions are florescent? Spiders are related to scorpions.
Exactly. Get your blacklight and shine it around the bedroom, especialy the ceilings and corners.
Oh gods no, what if the ceiling is covered in invisible florescent spiders?!

And just like that, my normal rational line of thinking has been ursurped by the little crazy, and now I’m paranoid about blacklights in the bedroom incase I suddenly discover it’s full of invisible pseudo-scorpions.

One Million…

Posted 2011.06.08 21.41 in Uncategorized

One million baby spiders… give or take a thousand. (Photo below the fold.)

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Avoiding the Dank

Posted 2011.05.14 11.31 in Pointless Blather, Uncategorized

It’s wrong, I know. So very wrong.

See, I’m getting these letters from the natural gas company, that basically amount to:

Y u no want me service your furnace? It’s freeeee….

And really, I don’t have anything against regular maintenance. Especially when it’s free (or already paid for via some other contract.) The furnace is an especially Valued and Important part of my thermostat project. So its continued and effecient function is something that should be of paramount importance.

Why then am I procrastinating about getting it serviced?¬†Because that would mean accompanying the service tech down….into the cellar….

And what is wrong with the cellar, you ask? Well allow me to compile a brief list, quickly, off the top of my head:

  1. Cobwebs.
  2. Spiders.
  3. Creaky wobbly unsafe stairs.
  4. The Dank.
  5. Spiders.
  6. Bugs.
  7. Cobwebs.

And yes, that’s just a quick list. There are plenty more reasons to avoid the cellar. I won’t even go into the mysterious bumps in the night, the strangely appearing and disappearing mists, sudden chills, the lights that turned on and off by themselves, or the voices.

Or the fact that the last time I was down there with a service tech, all his flashlights burned out, one after another, till we were left almost completely in the dark.

If I could just point the guy to the cellar door and say Go through there, down the stairs, through the second doorway and the furnace is down there. It’s in the room with the furnace in it. then I would surely do that.

But the service techs are not fools. They know better than to venture alone into areas where the homeowner fears to tred.

And so I am stuck in a quandry. I want the furnace to be serviced. I do not want to go down there. I have to go down there to get the furnace serviced.

What I need is to find the Indiana Jones of the HVAC service world. He’d go down there alone, give the furnace a tune-up, and give The Dank a swift kick in the arse.

Worst. Nightmare. Ever.

Posted 2009.04.05 16.06 in Pointless Blather

What a rough weekend. First I was doing battle with one of the servers. (I finally won, by the way.) Then I forgot to take my pills not once but twice, and that left me really messed up. Then finally I went to a family function, where the lack of sleep, abundance of stress, and lack of medication rendered me very vulnerable to overstimulation, and between kids, TV, and just general loudness, I crumbled and started to fall apart. So finaly I just had to escape to somewhere quiet. Had a brief lie-down on the sofa, then thought a nice hot bubblebath might relax me…

I’ve mentioned in the past that the bathroom is pretty much the most vulnerable place in the house. Almost anything you are doing in there, puts you at a disadvantage should something serious happen. Whether you’re in the bath, showering, or just sitting on the loo, if something comes up, you’re bound to be unprepared, and quite possibly naked and waterlogged to boot.

So you know whatever happens below the fold, it is bound to be disturbing…

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It’s where I keep the Dank.

Posted 2006.07.23 0.00 in Photography

The basement, that is. It’s where the Dank lives.

I’ve been scanning all my old photographs into my computer, since a) I never look at them at the moment, and b) iPhoto makes it very easy to look at them any time. Many, many years of blurry photos, and blurry memories.

But I have a bunch of negatives somewhere, I have a binder with all my really good negs and I can’t find it. My scanner can scan negatives and, although slow, it does a very good job. So I wanted my negatives binder. Well, I haven’t seen it in about 4 years, which means…yeah it’s probably in the basement.

Last time I was down in the basement was almost exactly 2 months ago. About the 22nd or 21st of May. There were unexplained door closings and shoulder tappings and temperature dropping and stuff back then, giving me a serious case of the heebie-jeebies. Well no matter, I want my negatives! I turn on the light, grab a flashlight, open the cellar door and down I go. Exactly 1 step.

Rip, tear, tangle, I am covered in spiderweb. So I get a stick and try again, waving the stick around infront of me. It doesn’t do a damn thing. Every step I’m tearing through more spiderwebs, down the stairs and into the first part of the cellar, like a damn Indiana Jones adventure. Then I notice, of course, last time doors were closing when I didn’t want them too, this time, doors were open when they weren’t supposed to. The door to the old cellar and the door to the wine cellar were both wide open but I distinctly remember last time, after I got the last load of wine and was too creeped out, I closed everything and turned off all the lights then beat a hasty retreat from the basement.

Strangely enough, there were no spiderwebs in the older (1860′s era) part of the cellar. Well, what I mean is, they were not big floor-to-ceiling room-crossing room-filling doorway-blocking spiderwebs. The ones in the old cellar were the normal ones that stick to the corners and rafters and stuff. It’s just the new (1940′s era) cellar where the spiders made a complete floor-to-ceiling room-filling maze of icky creepy stupid spiderwebs. Blah! I can still feel them all over me.

Oh, and my binder full of negatives? Never saw it. Don’t know where it is. I did find a box with a bunch more pictures in it, among other things. I blindly groped around the box shoving handfulls of photo envelopes into a plastic bag, so will have to find out later what I managed to find. Aside from all the spiders.

I just know tomorrow I’ll find a bunch of new spiders all over the house. I hate that because you know there’s only one way for them to all get there at once. Shudder.

Algonquin, Algonquin, Algonquin, Rainbow
Algonquin in Winter, Algonquin in Rain, Tim Lake, double Rainbow