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Public Service Announcement

Posted 2010.01.04 22.01 in Pointless Blather

If you ever happen to tape your eyes closed, try and remember to remove the tape before you fall asleep. Otherwise if you wake up groggy you might get all freaked out because you can’t see.

Or you might be freaked out because there’s something on your face sucking out your eyeballs.

Then some kinds of tape leave a sticky residue even after the tape is gone, which makes it wierd all day long every time you blink.

No need to thank me. Just pay it forward.

Always Bet on Bureaucracy

Posted 2009.07.30 13.23 in Pointless Blather, Work

This is the true origin of the mythical Hydra. The seven-headed monster was actually just a euphamism for government bureaucracy. When you’re trying to get them to admit they made a mistake, when you’re trying to get a problem sorted out… every time you think you’ve beat them, two more challenges spring up before you, and the battle starts anew.

Of course, the drones with whom you communicate on the phone aren’t the actual enemy. They are merely pawns, and while they may put up a valiant fight, they may just as easily throw themselves on your sword. The outcome doesn’t really matter to them, and they know it’s hard to swing a sword if it’s got a bunch of drones stuck on it. Their job is to merely slow you down, wear you out, grind down your resolve by exhausting your ire and indignation. Like punching an enormous pillow – you never, ever hurt it and never get hurt yourself, but eventually you just can’t go on.

As difficult as it can be to engage one department in battle, when your task requires you to face two departments at once, you may as well forget it. You can’t turn them against each other, instead they each take turns playing you off the other. They won’t even talk to each other, so you end up having to run messages between them. It is a cruel, sick game, I believe.

I actually have a point to all this, a specific situation that I was going to rant about. But I’m truly exhausted after wasting another 2 hours with them this morning. Suffice to say that the process of getting them to correct their mistake is excruciating, and they’ll never, ever apologize for making the mistake, nor for wasting an hour or two of my life every week.

If they were a business, I’d take my business elsewhere.