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No Sleep, No Coffee. Grumbles.

Posted 2009.08.12 5.25 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie

It seems that lately I can’t stay asleep. I wake up early, can’t get back to sleep, so I end up just getting up. An hour, two hours before the alarm. It wouldn’t be so bad if I could be productive, if I could accomplish something with that extra time.

Instead I’m tired, my head hurts a bit, and I’ve no coffee-fixings. Not that there’s anyone to blame but myself, I forgot to buy coffee-fixings yesterday.

No coffee and no sleep makes Stephanie mumble incoherently.

Hji8 jasd fn ljb. Zzzzzzzzz.

Insomnia Still Sucks

Posted 2009.07.25 0.36 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie

Half past midnight. Tossing and turning for an hour, trying to sleep. Not even a little bit tired.

What to do in situations like these?

Get up, do chores.

Insomnia sucks.

What a Week

Posted 2009.07.05 20.58 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie

No activity here means lots of stuff going on elsewhere. Wednesday was Canada Day (happy Canada Day everyone!) and of course it was a holiday, but the other weekdays weren’t – so two days of work, one day off, two more days of work. Not so bad right? Except that I was having my annual Canada Day BBQ on Wednesday, so I had to get everything ready for that, then Thursday was month-end at work so there was no time to kick back and relax / recover, it was up and off to work first thing Thursday morning.

Anyhow, the BBQ seemed to go well, lots of fun and food and all that. And the weather cooperated. I won’t divulge my secrets, but we had a few sprinkles of rain at the very start, and a few at the very end, but it was dry through the whole afternoon and early evening of fun… while everywhere else in town (and outside town) had rain on and off throughout the day.

So, all in all, another successful Canada Day bbq. But a long, tiring week.

Just Once…

Posted 2009.06.29 9.08 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie

Just once I would like to wake up and feel refreshed and energetic. Just to see what it’s like. You hear these expressions, like “bright eyed and bushy tailed” or “rise and shine”…  they have no meaning for me. And I have expressions that probably are meaningless to most people, like “I have blear in my eyes.”

I have insomnia and sleep apnea, so it takes me forever to fall asleep then when I do manage to get to sleep, I don’t get much rest. I wake feeling exhausted. By the time I’ve gotten up and washed and dressed and everything, I’m ready for a nap. I’m usually not fully consious till mid-morning. I drive to work with half-open eyes, yawning incessantly, then sit here staring at the computer with my eyes trying to roll back into my head, my brain locked in alpha-wave mode, and wonder why I just can’t get in gear, for the 10,000th day in a row.

If Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is real, I’ve had it for 20+ years. It’s like someone put one of my batteries in backwards and I’m perpetually running with only half power. Now and then there are little bursts of energy, alertness. But they’re few and far between, and typically short-lived.

Tired. It’s not just a feeling, it’s a way of life.

Cures for Insomnia

Posted 2009.05.27 8.37 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie

Like [some large impressive number] other Canadians, I suffer from insomnia.

Over the years, I’ve found a few different methods of coping. One is to just deal with it. After 20+ years, I’m accustomed to being tired all the time. Another is to not go to bed until one is about to fall asleep. Not laying down till one is nodding off in a chair saves on the relentless tossing and turning while waiting for sleep.

Of course, people have lots of ‘helpful’ suggestions, like read a book etc. The problem I find with this is that if it’s a boring book, I can’t read it, and if it’s an interesting book, I end up reading all night rather than sleeping.

Recently however, I stumbled on a great new resource for insomniacs:  Just try and read this. It is a changelog from the Linux Kernel repository. It’s almost 3,500 lines of fairly obscure technical jargon, ubergeek to ubergeek. 

I know I said that boring books don’t work for me – but I started reading that with a purpose… I was trying to find out if the latest linux kernel would contain any new drivers or bugfixes that would help with my EeeTop issues. 

Zzzzzz.

p.s. another good insomnia cure is textbooks. I have some programming textbooks that I really want to read and learn, but those things just make my eyes roll back into my head. The punchline though, is that even when I do get a full night’s sleep, I still wake up feeling exhausted… but that’s another story.

Exhaustipated

Posted 2009.04.02 7.35 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie

Just once, I’d like to experience what it is like to wake up in the morning feeling well-rested and full of energy, ready to bound out of bed and take on the day.

As opposed to real life, where I wake up every day feeling exhausted and tired; every morning I wake up feeling like I haven’t slept at all.

So here I am, having coffee-number-one, eyes half closed and feeling like I could go back to bed for another 8 hours — instead, I have to go to work, which is almost the exact opposite of what I want.

Blah.

Proton Energy Power Pills

Posted 2006.07.23 0.00 in Pointless Blather by Stephanie

Chronic Fatigue Syndrom is something that I didn’t believe in for a long time. Sort of like carpal tunnel syndrom – if you don’t believe in it, it cannot affect you. Problem is, when you’ve been feeling exhausted, have trouble staying awake, have trouble sleeping, and have 6 or 7 other related symptoms, for 15 or 16 consecutive years, it’s hard to continue disbelieving in CFS.

Of course, it doesn’t help when a lot of other people also don’t believe in it, so that’s probably my come-uppance for not believing in it myself. (I still don’t believe in carpal tunnel syndrom though, so there.) Anyhow, even the doctors that do recognize CFS, agree that there is no known cure at the moment.

Days like today where the housework has been piling up all week, Saturday was wasted by laying around resting, so the laundry and dishes and cleaning must be done, are days where even a short-term remedy for CFS would be most welcome.

Fortunately, it turns out there is a short term solution. It’s not perfect, there are risks and side-affects. It’s an over-the-counter cure that most college and university students probablly know well: Proton Energy Power Pills (also known as caffein tablets) are the thing! Just take them with some coffee, cola, Jolt, or whatever. Pow! Short term energy. Also, paranoia, shakes, and upset stomach. So it’s not perfect.

But, it gets the laundry and dishes done.

357 Magnum pills