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In The News

Posted 2010.01.13 11.35 in Sports

So I was listening to the radio news the other day, and they were saying that the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey team was worried that their fan base among young people was shrinking. A representative was saying how  young people are more interested these days in technology and electronics, and so the Maple Leafs were moving to embrace some of these new ways to get and keep fans.

Now, I enjoy technical jiggery-pokery just as much as the next geek. Yes, I do in fact have the Maple Leafs’ app on my iPhone. As apps go, it’s well-made, was free, and does what it’s supposed to. So yay for that. However, an iPhone or Blueberry app is not going to make me back into a Leafs fan. Yes, I used to watch all the games, I used to know who the players were, used to know where they were in the standings.

I do believe that embracing technology and electronics is a good thing, and it’s one of those chicken-soup things; whether it helps or not, at least it can’t hurt.

However, speaking strictly as an outsider, someone who doesn’t do sports, I do have a tiny suggestion for them. Maybe I’m way off the mark on this, but maybe they’d be able to attract more fans if, like, they could just try and suck less?

I mean, it’s great that the TML app now gives me game times and tv channels for every game, and instant updates on scores, and lets me read box-scores of past games, and shows me up-to-the-minute standings, and all that stuff. It’s just, I have no desire to actually tune in and watch them suck all over the ice. I don’t need instant updates on how bad they suck. And up-to-the-minute is overkill, when I can just look once a month or so, to see that yes, they’re still hovering around last place.¬†(Ok so last night they were 2nd worst in the east, 3rd worst overall.)

So, Toronto Maple Leafs – nice iPhone app. But if you want me to actually tune in and watch, or even just care slightly, maybe try and play better hockey?

Oh and – you’re worried about young fans? I’m not young (though sometimes I act immature) and infact I’m entering middle age, but you guys haven’t won a Stanley Cup in my entire life. My generation is having children now – there’s two generations of fans who have never seen a Stanley Cup won by Toronto. Yeah. Suck less.

CSI:Toronto

Posted 2006.11.27 1.00 in Music/Movies/TV

Sometimes I think it is high time for the CSI franchise to spin out of the US and into far away foreign territory. Go off to some strange foreign land with oddball customs, but not too odd and not too foreign, so that it doesn’t come across as being too wierd to folks accustomed to the three versions already running in syndication 6 times per day.

Following the tradition of having each spinoff spawn the next, there’d be some bizzare mysterious murder in New York, maybe in the theatre district, and the top clue would be the fact that a note found on the body would have words like theatre, colour, and centre spelled correctly.

So Mac Taylor and Stella or whomever Mac is currently having UST with would have to follow the clues North (technically a lot more west than north but lets not get too confusing) to Canada’s largest metropolis, Toronto! And because the CSI franchise strives to be more or less accurate about a lot of things, Mac and ???? will actually know better than to bring their parkas and snowshoes for their April or May visit to the “Great White North”.

Once in T.O., they will hook up with the head of Toronto’s forensics unit (a Canadian sort of Grissom) and compare notes and a bunch more local characters will be introduced and blah blah blah the case will be solved, Mac and ???? will head back to New York but will have formed a lasting friendship with their foreign collegues that will never be mentioned again in CSI:New York.

Then, the following September, the world will be blessed with a fourth CSI franchise and those of us in Canada can watch and smile and feel special as we see Canadian CSI types bringing justice and smug smirks to Canadian criminals. And those of us who live in or near Toronto can smirk smugly every time we spot a familiar location being used as the scene of an elaborate and mysterious murder scene. And our American neighbors can watch and smug smirkly every time the head of the forensics unit on CSI:Toronto says Eh?

And best of all, the world can rejoice in the knowledge that, by the time CSI:Toronto is in season 2, there’ll be at least 10 hours of CSI repeats per day available on a multitude of channels.

Yeah, sometimes I think I’d like to see CSI:Toronto.

Then other times, I think I could just use more sleep.

CSI:Toronto