So I had to meet the dental surgeon this morning… folks have been telling me to get my wisdom teeth out, and I finally worked up the courage to go and meet the guy for a consultation. You know, a quick look, then find out how bad it was going to be, how much it was going to hurt and how much it was going to cost.
I should have known better.
Right away, he knew about the microfilm hidden in my top-left wisdom tooth. Either he has great eyes, or he was tipped off. So he says he’s going to take that tooth right away! Next thing I know, I’m in The Chair, in The Room, and they’re hooking me up to a machine.
While they left me for a few minutes to contemplate my fate, I realized they hadn’t searched me – I still had my iPhone with me! I immediately texted my sister, asking her for help: contact agent Bauer, send in the rescue team get me out of there!
By now, the surgeon’s staff had realized their mistake. They activated the x-ray machine, disrupting my iPhone’s GPS, so my sister couldn’t get my coordinates. That’s when they came at me with the needles.
The rescue team never turned up. I lost the tooth, they got the microfilm, and now they know the secret plans and the location of the gold. Plus, I’m “experiencing discomfort” and feeling grumpy.